Reclaiming Honor and Respect
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
March 22, 2026
Good morning and welcome to Light Reflections. The scripture I have chosen to support my message for today is from Romans 12:10 from the New Revised Standard Version.
…love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Today’s catalyst for bringing back our joy is respect, but a quick look in our scriptures may have us finding a different word, honor. So, this morning I am going to talk about both honor and respect. I believe they go hand in hand.
Before we get into honoring and respecting, let me take a moment to recap a bit on where we have been so far. The catalysts that I gleaned from the “Book of Joy,” which I found to bring back my joy in difficult times started with prayer or as we Quakers say, “Holding Others or Situations in the Light.” We then looked at what it means to gather and how coming together brings joy. We also explored the foundations of community to do good to others, help others, and be extravagantly generous. And last week we talked about Servant Hospitality and learning to appreciate otherness.
That brings us to this week.
I want to begin by having you think about a time you were honored. When someone spoke of your value to the family, how significant you were to your business, or how important you were to the team. Maybe they thanked you for something you did for them. Do you have that in your mind?
· How did it make you feel?
· Did it inspire you to do more of the same?
· Did it make the sacrifice worthwhile?
· Did it give you confidence?
· Was it uplifting to you on the inside?
That’s what honoring others does. Honoring others motivates, inspires, builds up, and energizes. Honoring others makes those who feel insignificant, feel significant. Those who feel forgotten, remembered. For those who want to quit, to rise up with new determination.
Honoring is the response the stranger from last week is longing for.
That’s because honoring one another is no small thing. It’s bigger than we can ever imagine and the Divine Spirit can use it in our lives and in the lives of those around us to bring about a wonderful transformation on the inside. This is why the Divine Spirit tells us to honor and respect one another.
This is what I want you to see, today. I want you to leave, today, looking for someone to honor and lift up this week. I want to see Divine Spirit nudge you to change someone’s life through honoring and respecting them.
To help us understand this, let’s start with our scripture for this morning, Romans 12:10, which says,
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
Scripture is very specific on how we honor others.
First, honoring one another is to value one another.
Learning how to place value on people. This is where you see others as important. Significant in some way.
Jesus was teaching His disciples one day when He asked,
“What is the price of two sparrows – one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows” (Matt. 10:29-31).
You can’t put a price tag on how important ALL people are to God.
If we are going to receive others like Christ (as I said last week), we must place a high value on the people in our lives. We must see them as important because there is that of God in them. Even those who seem useless, a burden to society, and a pain in our sides.
The first step in honoring people is to see them with value.
Listen carefully, honoring one another is to place value on someone with your words and actions. Jesus did this. He showed honor to Matthew a tax collector (who most people despised), he expressed honor to Nicodemus (even though at first he didn’t understand Jesus), and he even showed honor toward Judas (even though Jesus knew that Judas was about to betray him), and He showed honor toward Pilate as He spoke with him prior to His crucifixion. Jesus expressed honor toward both His friends and His enemies. We should do the same in how we treat them and speak to them.
Second, honoring one another involves humility.
One translation puts it this way, “Honor one another above yourself.” This is where you act like a servant toward them (like we talked about last week). This is where you give them the place of honor, rather than you taking it. This is where you help them succeed and better themselves.
I remember one day when I was just about finished with my master’s degree, a beloved professor pulled me aside after class and asked if I would be willing to be a presenter at the Association of Christian Colleges and Universities Conference in Chicago. He was wanting me to present in his place. I was so honored that he would ask me and that he trusted me to represent him at this conference.
My anxiety grew as the conference grew closer. When I arrived at the conference, I found several of my other professors waiting in the hall to greet me and encourage me. I was welcomed as an equal in that moment. One of them escorted me to the room where I was to give my talk and said many had signed up for my talk and it was going to be full.
Again, my anxiety grew. So, I set up and then waited for the participants to arrive. The very first professor who arrived, if you can believe it, was actually one of my theology professors from undergrad. He did not recognize me, but I recognized him, immediately. I went up and re-introduced myself. He said, “Well, can you believe that a student of mine has now come back to teach me something new.” The room filled to capacity and I gave my talk. Many people thanked me as they left, and my professor came up and said, “Well done.”
What my master’s degree professor did by asking me to fill in for him was honoring and it even led to more honoring, even some unexpected honoring.
This aspect of honoring each other I believe is well said in Eugene Peterson’s Message version of Scripture where it reads, “Practice playing second fiddle.” Sometimes you have to pass the ball and let someone else take the shot. Think about it for us at First Friends, when is it time for those of us who are older to pass the baton to the next generations of Quaker leaders?
Three, honoring one another involves respect.
This is where we get to the respect aspect I started with. In the Today’s English Version our scripture text reads,
“Be eager to show respect for one another.”
Honor and respect go together as I have already said. You cannot separate them. It’s the two sides of the same coin. To show respect for someone is to give them your special attention.
Respecting someone is to listen to them even if you disagree with them. Respecting someone is to not be rude toward them. We did a lot of this last week at Monthly Meeting for Business.
1 Peter 2:17 simply says, “Respect everyone.”
We should be the people who are the most honoring and respectful people to be around. Cutting others down, belittling people, and rude sarcasm should never be a part of who we are.
Think about this when you look at the leaders of our country. It is hard to respect people who lead by belittling people and use rude sarcasm, and by putting people down. These are not the characteristics we should be seeing in our leaders (on either side).
This does not mean we need to stoop that low ourselves. As Michelle Obama said, “When they go low, we go high.” That should be the mantra among Friends as well.
Four, honoring one another involves enthusiasm.
In our scripture for today, it says, “Take delight in honoring each other.”
This is where the joy comes in. Taking delight in honoring one another means to be eager about this with the attitude of trying to outdo one another in honoring each other.
It sort of carries the idea of a healthy competition between each other when it comes to honoring one another.
Think about this for a moment.
What would our lives be like if we were driven, motivated, inspired, enjoyed, and enthusiastic about honoring the people in our lives?
What would happen to a marriage if the partners genuinely were trying to outdo each other in honoring one another?
What would it look like if siblings or relatives enjoyed honoring one another?
What would it look like if employees were motivated to honor one another?
What would it look like if politicians were motivated to honor each other?
What would our Meeting look like if we were driven to give honor to one another?
The power of honoring one another has the potential of revolutionizing every relationship in our lives. Honor is a game changer. So, take delight in it, be eager to show honor to others.
Number five, honoring one another involves grace.
It also says in our scripture, Romans 12, “Take delight in honoring each other.”
The “each other” means each other. No exceptions. I’m honoring you. You are honoring me. We are honoring them and they are honoring us.
Remember, when we are talking about honoring others we are talking about treating people like they have value and that their life matters.
I said honoring one another involves grace. It involves grace in several ways.
Honor involves grace because of people. People struggle with all kinds of things, and they also have weaknesses. But that does not disqualify them from being honored. Their life is still important. They are still valuable. And it takes grace to honor one another, especially people who make it hard to honor them by their choices and negative attitudes. Showing honor to others is an act of grace.
Honor involves grace when it comes to the amount. You cannot show honor to someone enough. We are told to outdo each other in honor. There is no limit to you placing honor on others. The Divine Spirit is saying go all out when it comes to honor. Don’t hold back. So go ahead and honor your spouse. Go ahead and honor your teacher. God ahead and honor your parents. Go ahead and honor your siblings. The Divine Spirit wants you to do this.
So, as we wrap this up and enter waiting worship this morning, let’s think about two things:
Who do you need to honor? Is there someone in your life that the Spirit is nudging you to honor in some way? A spouse, a parent, a boss, or someone else? How does God want you to show honor to them? Speaking with more respect, a gift, a word of appreciation, or an act of kindness?
Is there anyone you have dishonored by the way you spoke to them in front of others or even privately? Is there someone you have been cold toward, rude, and distant when in reality you should have shown honor to them? By speaking with respect toward them.
Let’s take this time to ponder those queries.