6-29-25 - Exhausted…Learn the Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Exhausted…Learn the Unforced Rhythms of Grace
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
June 29, 2025

Good morning Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections. This morning the text I have chosen is from Matthew 11:28-30 from The Message version.  

Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

Before I start my message, I want to thank Beth Henricks and Chris Edwards for filling in for me the last two Sundays and bringing excellent messages while Sue and I celebrated our 30th Anniversary.  It is a blessing to be surrounded by such talented people. Thank you.

One thing that was extremely apparent on our time away this past week was the toll that exhaustion is taking on people in our world, whether that is from all that is going on with the possibility of war or simply life’s demanding pace. It amazes me how many people are literally crying out for rest but cannot find the time to make it a priority. Even people on vacation seem to be struggling to rest.  We almost need time to transition to restful times because we no longer know or remember how to rest.    

It is clear from our scriptures this morning that the Divine is concerned about rest.  Jim Smith author of The Good and Beautiful God says, “The number one enemy to our spiritual formation is exhaustion.”  As one who has studied spiritual formation from a variety of perspectives, that bold proclamation got my attention. 

Exhaustion is an enemy to our soul and to our holistic well-being.   

Let that sink in for a moment.

I think we have to start by admitting it. We have become an exhausted people, and we live in exhausting times.

I hear it all too often – maybe even you have said something like this…

“I am exhausted by listening to the news.” 

“I am exhausted by politics.”

“I am exhausted by our President.”  

“I am exhausted by this heat (or any weather that is not moderate or what we want.”

“I am exhausted by my kids.” 

“I am exhausted by my work.”

“I am exhausted by other people’s issues and problems.”

“I am exhausted by my relatives.”

“I am exhausted by my medical condition.”

And the list goes on. 

How would you fill in the blank this morning?

I am exhausted by ______________.

On our anniversary cruise last week, we were seated for dinner with two other couples a bit older than us.  Two were retired teachers who ended up having to return to teaching because of the lack of social security and retirement offered them by their school district in Illinois.  The other couple was a deputy police chief from Asheville, North Carolina, who retired after the Pandemic and is now the police chief of a local college, and his wife is the lead social worker in Asheville who has been dealing with the devastation of their town after hurricane Helen made landfall in September. 

Talk about a table full of exhaustion. This table could be the poster child for needing some rest and relaxation.  No wonder we found ourselves all on a boat adrift in the middle of the Atlantic ocean – we were seeking rest and renewal from our daily grinds.  

It is proven that those in the helping professions suffer from exhaustion and lack of rest, and this exhaustion has grown by epic proportions with the recent Pandemic, natural disasters, and the political decisions which are removing benefits and dignity for these helpers.    

And then we add technology and social media to all of this, and the exhaustion expands to enormous levels.  Today, we must set limits for screen time, reminders to exercise, ticklers that tell us we need interaction with human people to avoid isolation, and some are now suggesting we schedule naps into our workday. 

This is not something new for many cultures outside of the US.  People head home from work in Spain for a siesta. And in Italy they take a riposo. And in China workers break after lunch and put their heads on their desks for an hour-long nap (it is a protected right by their constitution).  Some major corporations in America have realized the benefit and have added Nap Rooms to their office space. 

I recently saw a portable pod that was noise canceling, so you could go in and rest from the noise of the world or scream at the top of your lungs.

Sadly, I don’t think the need for rest is something new in our world, and it is evident from a simple glance at our bibles. Even people 2000+ years ago dealt with the lack of rest. 

Actually, as I did my research for this sermon, I couldn’t believe how many times the bible talks about people needing rest.

Even when drafting the original 10 Commandments – rest was a key component. 

“Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work.  But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work.” (Exodus 20:9-10).

When I was in my doctoral work, I was challenged to find what our Jewish sisters and brothers considered sabbath rest.  Sabbath comes from the word shavat which means to “cease” or “desist.”  The main observance of shavat was from sunset on Friday to nightfall of the following day.

Now, Quakers consider all days equal which can mess with this needed opportunity to rest.  Thus, I like to consider rest not about a day but about a discipline.     

Richella Parham, in an article posted by Renovaré titled, “The Spiritual Discipline of Rest” points out,

“…the way the human body functions has not changed much in the years since God commanded his people to observe a day of rest. The amount of time generally set aside for sleep has shrunk, but the need for it has not. In these days filled with artificial light and late-night opportunities for work and play, we must now be very purposeful in the pursuit of physical rest. 

I think we often fail to consider that we must choose to rest or else we’re likely to have rest forced upon us when we are exhausted to the point of physical, mental, or emotional distress.”

Ask yourself this morning,

Have I ever found myself forced to my bed after pushing myself too hard?

I had a friend once who would say, “My getting sick is God’s way of slowing me down.”  I don’t think we need to blame this on God, but rather become more aware of our life, our body’s needs, and about how much we are able or trying to juggle in this life.  

This is when looking to Jesus as an example may help, and there are plenty of places in scripture that show us his discipline of rest. Often, we get so caught up with other aspects of the stories that we quickly read over or completely miss the more human aspects to which we can relate that often speak directly to this need for down time. For example:

Mark 1:35 But after this one day, “very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place and there he prayed.” 

In this moment Jesus secluded himself so much that his disciples could not find him and they had actually formed a search party. 

Or after John the Baptist’s death, Jesus said to the disciples,

‘Come away by yourselves to a quiet place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.” 

And in our text for today from Matthew 11:28-30 it clearly shows that Jesus understood the importance of rest.  He incorporated rest into his life and his teaching.  I love how The Message translates Matthew 11:28-30,

“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

That is one of my favorite phrases: We need to “learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”

But probably the story I love the most is found in Mark 4.  Most of us are probably familiar with this story.  Jesus and his closest followers set out across the Sea of Galilee by boat. Exhausted and spent from his day of ministry and teaching, Jesus falls fast asleep on a cushion in the stern of the boat. While Jesus is “sawing logs and counting sheep,” (carpenter/shepherd)  major storms blow in and fear sets in on everyone else aboard the boat.  Mark 4:38 finds everyone a bit upset at Jesus, and they shake him awake saying angerly, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

Now, you must remember that many of Jesus’ disciples were fisherman and knew just how dangerous the Sea of Galilee could get. So, if they were frantic during a squall or storm of this nature – that was a big problem. Yet Jesus shows us that even in the literal storms of life, rest is vital to building our trust, confidence, and definitely our peace.

The reason I love this story so much is because it is just how it seems to be. You finally decide to nap, rest, take a day off, or make some time in your schedule and then someone comes and says, “What are you doing? You don’t have time to rest.” 

While we were on our restful cruise, we received a text message from our neighbor which we could not read in its entirety because of the limited WiFi on the boat.  What I could read said,

“We just had some really bad storms at home and I went into your back yard to check…” And then I noticed there were some photos attached.

It was like someone was saying, “You don’t have time to rest.”  I rushed out of the theater where we were watching a movie and began figuring out how to contact our neighbor a different way. I was able to figure it out and found that we had sadly lost a huge part of the tulip tree in our backyard. We then began connecting with our children and my parents.  Once we checked everything, we got back to our restful time. 

Folks, please heear me on this. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is there will always be another emergency, another bad political decision, more work to do, someone to help, something to fix, but sometimes to help us be better people in our world, more understanding, more clear about our decisions, we are going to need to say, “I am taking a rest, because that is more important at this time.”  

And when you and I are in the thick of the storms of life, do we take Jesus’ advice or simply push on. 

Do we find a quiet place to rest? 

Do we intentionally find time to recover and renew our life?

Do we, while everyone else is frantic around us, have the personal awareness and fortitude it takes to find a place stop the madness around us and really rest? 

Are you in need of rest, today? Would your week start better if you rested today?

If you allowed yourself to slow down and pause for a while might you be able to center down and worship or take action in a more meaningful way?   

To help us begin to process our need for the discipline of rest. I want to offer you some queries to ponder this morning (you will find them on the back of the bulletin):

·      What exhausts you or keeps you working past your limits?

·      When and where do you most deeply rest?

·      Who helps you rest?

·      What is it like for you to set aside time to rest and recharge?

·      How regular and inviolable is that time?

After you have had a moment to consider those queries, let us center down and enter a time waiting and, this morning, restful worship. Imagine the Divine saying to you this morning, “Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest” and then allow yourself to center down and enter that space this morning.

6-22-25 - Listening to Know - Chris Edwards

Listening to Know
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Chris Edwards
June 22, 2025

Good morning, friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  Today’s sermon is given by our guest speaker Chris Edwards. Chris is a listening professional who helps people find meaning in the stories and rhythms of life, holding space for the mystery of the big questions that don’t have easy answers. His work centers on helping people reclaim their spiritual narratives, especially in seasons of disorientation, doubt, or deconstruction.  He maintains a private practice as a spiritual director, Narrative Enneagram Practitioner, supervisor, and teaches the art of spiritual direction at Fall Creek Abbey.  Chris also serves as an affiliate professor at Kairos University and is on staff at Christian Theological Seminary.  He is currently pursuing a Doctor of Theology degree with a focus on spiritual direction and soul care. Before coming to the Western Yearly Meeting, Chris served as a priest in the Celtic Christian Church, and he has over 20 years of experience leading faith communities and guiding spiritual formation. He lives with his wife, Jill, in Fountain Square and is a member of First Friends. 

Our scripture reading is from Luke 24:13-35. 

Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body there they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?” Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures.

As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.” So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?” That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem, and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together. They were saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!” Then they told what had happened on the road and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Quakers have a superpower and I am not sure they know it. In waiting worship we learn a skill that is deeply needed—yet neglected—by our culture. Jesus modeled this skill for us over and over, but a particularly clear example can be found in Luke 24:13-35 on the road to Emmaus. 

For context, just before these verses, Jesus was crucified, died, and he has just risen from the grave. He has not yet appeared to many—or any— of the disciples, depending on the account you read. Rumors are spreading that the tomb was empty, that death did not hold the Christ. But this truth is too much to hope for. Their grief demanded a protective reflex against any hope bubbling to the surface.

Two disciples travel the road, gossiping about the rumors and all that has been happening. A “stranger” comes alongside them, asking questions. Aghast that the stranger does not know the talk of the town—”You must be the only one in all the land who has not heard!”—they, like schoolchildren, recount all that has happened.

The stranger kept asking questions, getting them to talk more. When he went to travel on, they invited him to dinner. At the meal, he broke bread, blessed it, and as he served them, they suddenly saw… it was Jesus.

As the truth of his presence dawned on them, in their growing awareness, he disappeared. As they talked about this new happening they realized they had known the whole time, “were not our hearts burning within while talking and traveling with him?” Somewhere within, they knew something that they did not seem to know on the surface.

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Did you know that you know things that you don’t know you know? You may be thinking to yourself that you couldn’t know, since you indeed can’t know what you don’t know—by definition. On the other hand, you may be thinking that you don’t know what I am talking about, or that I don’t know what I am talking about, but bear with me.

The other day, my wife, Jill, and I had an encounter that is not all that unusual in the Edwards household. We are both thinkers and introverts, prone to getting lost in our heads. She asked me a question, and I didn’t know what she said. I don’t have the best of hearing, so with a confused look on my face, I looked at her and asked her to repeat herself with a perfunctory “Huh?”. When she turned to respond to me with a glare that scolded my inattentiveness, I suddenly knew what I had not known a moment before. Her question was there in my memory, clear as day, without a bit of ambiguity. Before a word left her mouth, I answered—naming our nightly uncertainty around dinner with, “I dunno, what do you want for dinner?”. And from there, our nightly dialogue continued in a routine manner.

I didn’t know that I knew what she said. Have you ever thought you had not heard someone, only to find that somehow a moment later you knew exactly what they said? If so, then you too know that you know things that you did not know that you knew.

There is this scholar I love, Esther Meek, who studies knowing. She helps us to see where this unknown knowing lives. She tells a story about when she was a child and her father was teaching her to ride a bike. He took her to the top of a hill and he pointed the bike down the hill. He placed her on the seat and pushed the bike. As she was flailing, she remembers his voice behind her calling out “BALANCE!”. She describes her little brain wrestling with that word. What does that mean? If you know how to ride a bike, you know exactly what it means. But I could give you the whole day to describe it to that little girl, none of your words would get her any closer to knowing what to do to keep the bike upright. Your body knows something that you could never quite put into words.

I didn’t know I could do this (gesture). I was a new youth pastor—19 years of age and had never preached a sermon— when I was invited to speak at a revival. Not only was I inexperienced in the art of homiletics, but somehow I had managed to make it through my entire education without even once speaking in front of the class. I did my best to prepare, but when I saw the crowd of hundreds of strangers, I didn’t know if any words or sounds would come out of my mouth. My palms were sweaty, my stomach was churning, and I wanted to run away. When I got behind the podium, everything settled. Words came out, the people responded with grunts of approval and Amens. To be fair, these were not Quakers. But I was in awe. God had done through me what I could not have done on my own. I had not known—as Phil 4:13 says—that I could do all things through God who strengthens me, I had only heard it. But my body knew what my mind could not. It settled in and acted when my understanding came up empty.

Research in neuroscience explains that all of the information from our nervous system travels up the brainstem and into the right side of the brain, the home of our subconscious. The same part of our brain that pumps our heart and regulates our temperature then decides which bits of that information to feed to the left side of your brain. It is here where our conscious mind and the language centers live. The subconscious part of our brain samples the environment 6 times per second, processing 11 million bits of data; while our conscious mind only samples the environment 5 times per second, registering a measly 16-40 bits of data (Wilder & Hendricks, 19; Peterson; Storr, Loc. 652). The body knows so much more than it could ever tell you.

Somewhere in my body, God placed the knowing of how to settle into a podium to preach despite my social anxiety the moment I step away from it. And like me knowing that Jill asked what I wanted for dinner, the disciples had a knowing that this “stranger” was Jesus. In each case, the knowing needed to travel from one side of the brain to the other

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Before we talk about how Jesus shows us how to help that journey along, we need to examine another knowing danger. First we talked about when I don’t have knowing and then I realize that I do. But sometimes I have knowing and then I realize I don’t.

I learned to play the Cello as an adult. “Learned” may be a generous description for my hacking away at Mary Had a Little Lamb for 5 years, but let’s go with it. Part of my education included learning how to read music. Each note is given the name of a letter A-G and placed at a certain location on a series of lines to represent a given sound. We are taught to translate the symbol on the lines into a letter and then the letter into a particular motion on the musical instrument.

As I was learning, this translation was all happening very consciously, with a great deal of effort. You might understand my surprise when my teacher, who had just played a note from the page as a demonstration, could not answer my simple question about which note that was. I gestured and pointed to the note on the page, trying to be more clear because I thought she had not understood my question. Then I watched her count the lines, using the same GBDFA mnemonic that I often had to use. What was going on here? How could she not know?

I understood her dilemma later in my musical journey. The more I learned about music, the more my subconscious took over. The translation from letter to note and note to motion became automatic and less and less conscious. Eventually I too started to forget the letter connected to the note on the page. A little later, I noticed that the letter connected to the place on the fretboard also started to fade away. I had less and less use for the letter.

You may have heard the saying: “If you don’t use it, you lose it”. This is Hebb’s Law, an idea passed around neuroscience circles to explain the pruning our brains do to be as efficient as possible (Barrett, 51). In the case of learning music, my brain thought it was more efficient to skip the intermediary letter and just translate image to motion. Later, during COVID, I stopped playing altogether and my brain started pruning even my most basic musical memories. Ones I had rather had kept.

If this can happen with my musical memories, can it also happen with knowing God? How is it that the disciples forgot the face of their friend Jesus? Had their brains began pruning away the image of a man they thought dead? I’ve caught myself forgetting God’s work in my life. Our world offers so few places to tell our God stories. How many of them get pruned away as they atrophy for lack of integration in our larger narratives?

Any solution from Jesus to our knowing problems needs to include not just how to get my knowing from my subconscious right brain to my concision left brain, but also how to keep from forgetting the knowing I don’t even know I know.

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Jesus’ example offers a couple of ideas for healthy knowing that fit well within the Quaker milieu.

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First, he listens. When Jesus first encountered the two disciples on the road he listened to their gossip. There was nothing they had to speculate on that he did not already know, and know more fully then they did, yet he listened. He was not listening so that he might hear, but so that they might be heard. In being heard they found their knowing. When we think of Jesus in the scriptures we might imagine him mostly preaching or talking, but in a study of Mark that I just finished for school I found that Jesus listened in 94.1% of the dialogues. 64.7% of his conversations started with him listening before saying a single word.

Quakers are no strangers to listening. In waiting worship we listen for the light within. In clearness committees we listen for the fingerprints of God in the narrative of the person before us. Listening is a natural part of our contemplative ethos. Quaker Douglas Steer is often quoted as saying, “to listen another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another. One can listen someone into existence” . 

I completed a training in listening once. Our first assignment was to write our spiritual narrative. Each week for the first six months of class we heard one of our peers deliver their story in front of the group. We held space for each other’s stories and we learned about sacred listening by practicing being fully present for each sacred story. After each one, we sang together as a way to honor the sacred tale we had just heard. It was a song developed during a workshop with Carrie Newcomer, a Quaker singer-songwriter. The first few times it felt a little silly, but the words started to work on something inside of me. 

“It’s or - di - nar - y, ex -traor - di - nar -y. 

It’s a true soul sto - ry, and it’s ho -ly, 

it is ho - ly.” 

I had completed exercises like this before. For seminary, men’s groups, ordination, etc. I was used to sharing my testimony. I had even shared parts of it weekly in front of my church as a pastor. On paper, this was nothing new, but when I shared my spiritual narrative with this group of people who were intentionally practicing the art of listening, something shifted. Tears formed in my eyes as I told familiar stories in what would seem on the surface to be a familiar setting. When I finished there was a pregnant pause and it felt like my whole being was sinking deeper, zooming in. The first person started singing “It’s a true soul story…”. Their voice cut the silence with a sacred truth. Other voices joined in and I shuffled back to my seat with tears flowing freely. All sorts of connections started to form in my mind, weaving the narrative of my life into a new and beautiful tapestry of meaning. There I was, listened into having a spiritual experience. “It is holy”.

These people had listened me into what Steere called “a condition of disclosure and discovery”. It really was a great service to me. The knowing journey from subconscious to conscious was aided by the open and receptive space to speak my thoughts out loud. Listening addresses our first problem, creating the reflective space needed for knowing to take that long 10 cm journey from right to left brain. 

What if we took this listening with us, outside these walls? Out into the busy world that moves too fast for listening? Knowing that listening can help another find their own knowing, that you can listen them into an awareness of that of God, might you consider your next encounter an invitation to ministry?

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On the road to Emmaus, Jesus also asked questions. He asked about what he already knew. He did not need their knowing. He was not asking for information. His queries were a speech act of service. His questions brought them back to their inner knowing when they paused on the surface or turned away from the light within to find answers in another. Questions probed at the knowing that they did not yet know they had. In the research project I mentioned earlier I found that over 20% of Jesus’ sentences were questions or queries. Given the monologues and sermons recorded in the gospel of Mark, this shows an affinity for that particular conversational tool.

Quakers too, have a fondness for a good query. At First Friends, Pastor Bob ends every sermon with a series of queries for us to take into waiting worship. Another Quaker author, Charity Sandstrom, published a book of nothing but questions in “Quaker Queries for All Seasons”.

Narrative therapists and practitioners are listening professionals that help us to integrate forgotten and underprivileged stories that are risk of being purged from our memory. These marginalized tales might be isolated experiences that have never been fully processed or integrated with our larger life stories. Narrative Practitioners use questions to encourage us to “thicken” the story. My colleague at Christian Theological Seminary, Dr. Suzanne Coyle is a well known leader in the practice and she says, “By thickening stories … people are better able to identify which life stories are enriching, which stories they would like to develop further, and which stories they want to deemphasize...new directions and possibilities for our life stories emerge. She add that this is how “our lives gain meaning”.

Carefully crafted questions help us address the second problem, to tap into and stay with the knowing we already have, to “thicken” the knowing, so that we don’t forget it. 

What would it be like for you engage your curiosity? For you to find the inner child who knew how to ask question after question until your parents and siblings were exasperated with you? I am not encouraging you to annoy people, but instead of offering answers this week, what would it feel like to turn those looking to you for answers back to their own knowing?

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Finally, lest you only take these as task for you to perform as a service to others, I want to ensure that you pause to consider how you too might find receptive spaces where you are heard and queried so that you might both know and remember what you know.

Sharing testimonies is a great example of such a receptive space. While visiting Hadley Friends recently, I was pleased to discover that each week they take turns giving space for a member or regular attender to share their story—their knowing—so that they might know it more fully. Alternatively, those with something they would like to explore in more depth might decide to seek a clearness committee. How long has it been since you have had intentional listening space held for you? 

Maybe those spaces feel too public for you and you need a more private or individual space to explore your stories. There are people who create intentional space for individuals for the sort of listening and queries that we have been talking about. The training I mentioned earlier was part of my training as a spiritual director, a practice that focuses on this sort of individualized listening. I know there are several of us within WYM, like Rachel Doll O’Mahoney, and Dela Stanely-Green both come to mind. 

What I have learned as a spiritual director is that the world is desperate for more listening. We are in the middle of a mental health crisis and our therapists are overwhelmed. The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.

Quakers have refined these skills over many lifetimes. Friends are MADE for this! 

In monastic circles, each order has what they call a “charism”. It’s their special gift to the world. Among the Benedictines, its their hospitality; the Franciscans, simplicity; and the Jesuits, teaching. I wonder if listening is the Quaker charism. In other words, it’s our superpower.

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As we enter waiting worship today, I encourage you to practice listening by listening to that of God within; curiosity by focusing on the queries from the message; and receptivity by being receptive to what God might be saying to you or may want to say through you.

What would it be like for you engage your curiosity? For you to find the inner child who knew how to ask question after question until your parents and siblings were exasperated with you? I am not encouraging you to annoy people, but instead of offering answers this week, what would it feel like to turn those looking to you for answers back to their own knowing?

6-15-25 - The Prodigal Father - Beth Henricks

The Prodigal Father
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Beth Henricks
June 15, 2025

Good morning, friends and welcome to Light Reflections.  Bob is on vacation this week which is why I am sharing the message with you today.

Our scripture reading is from Luke 15:18-32 from the NRSV Bible.

I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.  So he set off and went to his father.  But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him.  Then the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”  But the father said to his slaves, "Quickly, bring out a robe - the best one- and put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!”

Now his elder son was in the field and as he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing.  He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on.  He replied, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf because he has got him back safe and sound.”  Then he became angry and refused to go in.  His father came out and began to plead with him.  But he answered his father, “Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command, yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends.  But when this son of yours came back; who has devoured your assets with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!”  Then the father said to him, “son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.  But we had to celebrate and rejoice - because this brother of yours was dead and he has come to life; he was lost and has been found."

Today is Father’s Day, a day where we reflect on the men in our lives that have made an impact on who we are today.  As I was writing this message, I kept thinking about my own dad that I lost 20 years ago and snippets of his life kept popping up.  His love of sports, how he built an ice rink in our back yard every year, how he could eat 20 ears of corn in one setting, how good he was at playing the card game Rook, how much he loved my mom and me and my brothers.  I am sure that each of you today can recall some great memories of special moments with important men in your life.  I am thankful for the presence of not only my dad, but my late husband Jerry, my brothers, Kevin and other men that have been and are important to me.

We often associate certain characteristics and attributes to fathers – strength, protection, provision, justice, fairness, and we often use this language and these characteristics of Father to describe God.  God as Father is probably the most common image we have of God and we regularly refer to God in a masculine pronoun.  Of course, God is neither male nor female, God transcends a role such as Father and is far beyond the characteristics we use to describe God.  And yet, our limited human minds must try to bring God into a place where we can grasp some reflection of God’s essence within our known relationships and the idea of Father is one place for this. 

Pope Francis once said to a large crowd at the Vatican that calling God "Father" rather than simply "God" can deepen our spirituality and nourish our Christian hope.

"The entire mystery of Christian prayer is summed up here, in this word: to have the courage to call God by the name of Father," the pontiff said.

"Calling God by the name 'Father' is not something that can be taken for granted,"  "We are tempted to use the highest titles, which are respectful of his transcendence. But calling him 'Father' puts us in his confidence, like a child talking to his dad, knowing that he is loved and cared for by him" the pope said.

Of course, it can also be dangerous to focus on God as Father because some human fatherly relationships are destructive, are not intimate and not loving.  Having talked with several folks over the years that have deeply struggled with the idea of God as Father, I have become much more sensitive to avoid using masculine pronouns in how I speak about God.

But I still believe there is much for us to gain in our understanding of God to think about the best and most loving examples of this role of Father.  And this role of Father in our Scripture reading today is an insight into God’s essence that is really astounding.  This parable of the Prodigal Son is probably the best-known parable within Christian and secular circles.  It is a story that is rich and complex and helps us grasp some idea of the magnitude of God.  And it defies the traditional roles of Father that were customary of the first century.  

I have heard many messages on this parable before and usually they focus on one of the sons. The prodigal son asks for and takes his portion of his inheritance and wants to get away from his family and live the life he wants to live.  Of course, things don’t turn out so well for him and when he returns, the elder son shows no mercy, no forgiveness and becomes angry with his father.  While this story is usually called the parable of the Prodigal Son, I believe the heart of this story is about a Prodigal Father.  I looked up the word prodigal and I found words like reckless, extravagant, lavish and wasteful.  And certainly, the young son’s decisions do seem to fit these adjectives.  And yet, the Father’s love and grace in this story seem to be extravagant, reckless, lavish and wasteful.  The generosity of the father does not seem wise, just or fair.  Who gives half of their child’s inheritance just because they asked for it?  Didn’t the father in his heart know that his son would likely waste all this money?  And the father had to face the fact that this son didn’t want to be with him and chose to move far away.  What heartbreak the father experienced to have his son reject their life together. In the ancient world, the father-son (even adult son’s) relationship was a hierarchical one so it is even more shocking that the son would demand his inheritance by challenging his father’s authority and the father would give him his share of the property without saying one word or requiring certain things in exchange for his share.  How many times have I given something but expect certain activities, behaviors or outcomes in return?  Shouldn’t the father have disciplined his son instead of giving into his demands?  Whether we think this wise or not, the generosity of the father to the son is quite breathtaking and seems almost reckless.

 When the son returns home penniless, hungry and broken, the father not only welcomes him back to the home, the scripture says that he saw him a long way off and ran to his son and threw his arms around him and kissed him.  In the ancient world, grown men did not run as it seemed undignified and a sign of a man out of control.  It would also mean having to bring public humiliation on himself by raising his cloak and exposing his legs to run and embrace the son.  This is another example of reckless emotion and a break from the social norms.  When they embrace, the son can’t even get the words out that he planned to say asking his father to become a hired servant.  The father immediately calls his servants to bring the best robe, put a ring on his finger and offer a lavish dinner to celebrate the return of this son. 

The father’s extravagant grace continues toward the older son.  When the older son sees the return of his brother and this joyous celebration he becomes full of anger and refuses to go into the house which was a sign of great disrespect to his father.  He berates his father in a public way for his reaction to the younger son’s return.  The older son is full of bitterness and resentment and again the custom of the time would be for the father to discipline this son.  But the father’s reaction is one of grace as he says to the eldest son what joy that we have had as we have been together for these years and certainly you know that all that is mine is yours.  He was hoping the older son could rejoice with him in the return of a lost brother.  The story ends there and we don’t know what the ultimate response was from his brother.

I think Jesus is giving us a window into the depth and breadth of God’s love and grace to us in the actions of the father in this story.  It is the father who takes the initiative to restore the relationship.  The son can only come within reach while the father is the one to offer complete acceptance back into the home.  The father is extravagant in his generosity to both sons.  He places no conditions in the restoration of their relationship.

Most of Jesus’s parables give us a glimpse into the transcendence and uncontrollable nature of God.  A nature that changes everything and turns our normal view upside down. These parables seem to want to correct our notions about who God is and who God loves.   No one gets what they deserve for God’s mercy is not contingent upon the actions of others.  God’s love surpasses all typical expressions known to humanity.  A prodigal love for a prodigal people.  God is always waiting for us to return.

In Phillip Yancey’s book What’s So Amazing about Grace  he shares a story about a British conference a number of years ago on comparative religions where experts from around the world were debating about what belief is unique to Christianity.  They began eliminating possibilities – the Incarnation?  Other religions had different versions of gods showing up in human form.  Resurrection?  Other religions had accounts of return from death.  C.S. Lewis came into the room and when he heard what scholars were discussing, he said that it is easy to identify the unique contribution of Christianity to other religions.  It’s grace.  The idea that God’s love comes to us with no strings attached seems to go against every instinct of humanity.  The Buddhist path, the Hindu doctrine of Karma, the Jewish covenant and the Muslim code of law all offer ways to earn God’s approval.  Only Christianity dares to make God’s love unconditional.   

Doesn’t the world condition us to find a catch in every promise – we must read the fine print to know the conditions of our contract.  Yet here is Jesus describing an unconditional love that disqualifies no one.

Sometimes our vision of a father is one that demands our love through fear.  But  God, the prodigal father demands nothing and is unbelievable in the generosity of grace and love. 

Henri Nouwen says “God rejoices.  Not because the problems of the world have been solved, not because all human pain and suffering have come to an end, nor because thousands of people have been converted and are now praising him for his goodness.  No, God rejoices because one of his children who was lost has been found.”

 Phillip Yancey describes the gospel as nothing that we humans would come up with on our own.  Isn’t it just and fair to give more to the good people and give less to the bad people?  Shouldn’t there be some merit to our salvation?  Grace does not depend on what we have done for God but what God has done for us. 

The great theologian Karl Barth arrives at one definition of God after thousands of pages of writing – the One Who Loves.

As we enter our time of waiting worship, I offer a couple of queries to reflect on this concept of a prodigal father that offers grace that is lavish, extravagant:

How do we understand this grace in our lives? 

And how do we show this grace to others?

6-8-25 - Injecting Love into Our Civilization

Injecting Love into Our Civilization
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
June 8, 2025

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections. Today, at the Meetinghouse we are celebrating the recipients of the Friends Educational Fund. I will be sharing more about that in this message.  The scripture I have chosen for today is Hebrews 10:23-34 from The Voice translation.  

Let us hold strong to the confession of our hope, never wavering, since the One who promised it to us is faithful.  Let us consider how to inspire each other to greater love and to righteous deeds… 

A couple of years ago, I was listening to a fascinating book titled Wonderland: How Play Made the Modern World by Steven Johnson while I was working out one evening.  In one of the chapters, he tells the story of Robert Barker, a man from Ireland who created the panoramic painting in 1792. I thought it was interesting since Robert Barker was my grandfather’s name and one of the grandfathers I was named after. Immediately after my workout, I contacted my mom about my grandpa’s lineage. I thought in a longshot I might be related. The inquiry sadly did not find us related since my grandfather was from England.

In a weird turn of events though, my mother mentioned as she was looking through our lineage that one of the Barker’s were actually buried in a Quaker cemetery in North Carolina. That piqued my interest, and I started my own research. Within minutes, I was sitting in shock at all the history I could find in a simple search. This is due to Quakers being so diligent in their genealogy records. I soon found out shockingly that the Barkers were prominent Quakers (until this time, I thought my family were the first Quakers in our lineage). I followed them from Indiana, back to North Carolina and then finally to a place called “Barker’s Bridge” in Delaware. 

It was the story of how the Barker’s settled in Delaware from England that was one of the biggest surprises.  My relative, Samuel Barker came to America in 1682 with Friend William Penn. After coming to America, William Penn offered Samuel Barker 200 acres of land in Delaware (New Castle, today). Penn’s Quaker faith rubbed off and the Barkers became Quakers in America. 

I love how genealogy and studying our ancestors opens doors of learning and insight to who we are and how our lives developed both for the good and bad. 

I don’t know about you, but if I find myself scrolling through the TV channels in the evening after work and come across renowned Harvard scholar, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and his PBS TV Show Finding Your Roots, I immediately stop my scrolling and completely get engrossed in the show. Is this the case for anyone else here today? 

I have always been fascinated by ancestry and genealogy, but somehow Gates makes the stories and life journeys come alive. Some say that Henry Louis Gates, Jr. has done more for expanding America’s sense of itself, by simply stimulating a national conversation about our identity. Sadly, for many in our Meetinghouse today, that identity has been continually threatened or erased since your ancestors were brought to this country on boats against their wills.  This is why exploring these stories, and retelling the connections that bind us together and our shared histories is critical still today. 

As I have studied my own ancestry, I also have learned how vital African American ancestry is in helping individuals and communities understand their lineage, history, and cultural heritage. It provides a sense of identity, belonging, and connection to the past, particularly in light of the disruptions caused by slavery and subsequent injustices. Uncovering family stories and ancestral connections can lead to a deeper understanding of the impact of historical events and foster a sense of agency and resilience. 

Well, I could go on, but there is a reason we are all gathered here today.  And that is celebrating those who are receiving scholarships from the Friends Educational Fund.  If Henry Louis Gates was here this morning, I sense he would lay before us a big book filled with history that would help weave a piece of our shared history and identity together.  So, let me take the Henry Louis Gates, Jr. role this morning (please note: I am no Henry Louis Gates Jr., nor do I presume to be) and let me share some of the history involved in the Friends Educational Fund in which, TODAY,  you scholars are now included.   

History notes that the Quakers were the earliest migrants to Indiana. Actually, as I did my own genealogy research, I discovered my Quaker ancestors came to Indiana to flee the ongoing Civil War, and to stand against slavery in the southern states. At times they were part of the Underground Railroad in this area and helped to promote safe passage to freed slaves through Westfield, Indiana. What I have found even more amazing is that the Bacon Farmland on which this Meetinghouse sits, was owned by a family (not Quaker) but who also were part of the Underground Railroad. The barn that would have sat in the Meijer Parking Lot today on Keystone was a stop for fleeing slaves heading through Westfield, and onto Canada. What amazing stories are awaiting our discovery right in our midst if we are willing to look and see. 

These Indianapolis Quakers not only were involved in the underground railroad, but they also made a rather surprising decision after the Civil War. They decided to aid dependent African American children at a time when such benevolence was generally extended only to those who were white.

Before an orphanage or what they called an asylum, at that time, was ever erected or thought of for white children in Indiana, The Indianapolis Quakers along with our Western Yearly Meeting opened the Indianapolis Asylum for Friendless Colored Children. This was an effort that lasted from 1870 to 1922. History books note that Quaker interest in African American children developed in a time and place in which few whites believed in equality of the races in any respects.  Many Quakers in Indiana were treated badly for their beliefs, others did not participate out of fear.  

Now, this is our history Friends, even though Indiana was a “free state,” its laws in the early nineteenth century barred African Americans from voting, testifying against whites, and serving the military. They were forbidden to marry whites, attend public schools, and access jobs. Thus, African Americans in Indiana struggled desperately to provide for their children.  And much like the news still today, it is the children who would suffer the lasting effects of the racial terror and violence that the early Black Africans in Indiana would endure. 

This Indiana orphanage was known by freed slaves from the south and Black entrepreneurs and was recognized for wanting to give quality care and education to the African American children whose parents could no longer provide for them.  It became so well known in Quaker circles that donations started coming from all over, from other Quaker Meetings in Indiana as well as other states, then businesses, and even from the state government.

But it was a large donation by an unexpected donor that is the reason we are talking about this today.  John Williams, no, not the famous composer but the African American pioneer and freed slave from North Carolina who settled in Washington County, Indiana, near a Quaker Community. 

Unlike most African American Hoosiers who struggled to make a living, John made a substantial living as a farmer and as a rather famous tanner (or shoemaker). Sadly, a successful Black Hoosier was not looked at very highly as the Civil War came to a close, and on December, 1864, John Williams became an innocent victim of racial terror and violence and was murdered on his own land at his own door right here in Indiana. Here is the actual account from Quaker Lillian Trueblood:  

On the December night when the tragedy occurred, there was a light snow on the ground. The perpetrators of the deed came to the home of [John Williams who they called] Black John and aroused him from his slumbers. He ran out into the yard in his night clothes throwing his purse, which contained a small amount of money, behind the wood-box as he passed.  A shot rang out and the victim fell near his own cabin door, the fatal bullet having entered his back. Since the slain man had just sold a number of hogs, a common belief, for a time at least, was that the motive for the crime was robbery. If so, there was disappointment, as Black John had left the larger part of the proceeds of the sale with William Lindley. There were those who believed robbery to be only the ostensible object of the killing, the real cause being race prejudice.

Because of John Williams and his friendship with Quaker William Lindley who he made executor of his estate, there is a Friends Educational Fund for our scholarship recipients today.  In his will John Williams requested that his assets be used to educate, in his words, “poor Negro children” and, after his death, his assets were transferred by the courts to the Friends orphanage in Indianapolis. After the orphanage closed, a decision for educational scholarships was influenced by a bequest in the 1940s. First Friends invested the orphanage assets and used the proceeds to assist African American students. 

Since that time the directors have continued to invest and use the income generated to provide scholarships. Over $1,200,000 in scholarships have been provided to more than 1,866 students since its beginnings.  It has been the Indianapolis Quakers and currently First Friends who have protected this estate, grown it, and helped carry on John Williams’ legacy to make a difference in the lives of African American students wanting to pursue college and further their education. 

Now, handing out money or scholarships is easy, remembering from where they came and through what pain and toil they had to be handed down is another thing.  It is important to not only know our history, but to also know what side of history we are on. 

I want us together, to continue the legacy of John Williams, to not forget his death, to always thank him for his sacrifice and foresight in making a difference in the lives of young black people.

Scholars and Friends…John Williams is your ancestor and today you are recognized and marked down in history as part of his legacy, his hope for young black people in this country and world.

This reminds me of poet and scholar, Maya Angelou’s words, 

“Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave.

I am the dream and the hope of the slave. 

I rise. I rise. I rise.”

You, scholars, are the dream and hope, you each have amazing gifts that you are being called to share with our world.

As well, this morning, I also want us to remember the legacy of the Indianapolis Quakers, who by putting others before themselves stopped perpetuating the sins of their ancestors and found a way to seek Truth by helping Black Africans after the Civil War in this racially divided and terror-stricken country.  The call is being heralded once again in our country, I pray we, Quakers, again will respond, stand up, and protect the dreams of our Friends of color.  

Our scripture this morning from Hebrews 10 read,

Let us hold strong to the confession of our hope, never wavering, since the One who promised it to us is faithful. Let us consider how to inspire each other to greater love and to righteous deeds, Folks, there is hope in God’s promises… 

There is hope that we can be a people who continue to learn, become aware of our past, and make important changes.

There is hope that we can make these changes while continuing to seek the Truth.

I believe there is hope for our future…but that hope starts with each of us.

Martin Luther King Jr. said it so well,

“We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of LOVE into the veins of our civilization.”

John Williams, years before Dr. King was even born, with the help of his Quaker friends was injecting a new dimension of Love into the veins of civilization.

And this morning I hear the voice of John Williams calling each us…

You scholar recipients have this opportunity to inject a new dimension of Love into the veins of our civilization.  

You parents and grandparents and friends have this opportunity to inject a new dimension of Love into the veins of our civilization.

And yes, we at First Friends have this opportunity to inject a new dimension of Love into the veins of our civilization.

Now, is the time to rise up. 

Say it with me…

I rise.

I rise.

I rise.

Amen.

As we take a moment to center down and enter what we Quakers call Waiting Worship.  I ask that we join together in some time of silence and expectant waiting on what the Divine might have to speak to us this morning.  If someone feels nudged by the Spirit or led to speak out of the silence, please stand where you are and a microphone will be brought to you. To help us center down this morning I have provided a couple of queries for us to ponder. 

What gifts do I bring to make the dream a reality?

Do I know my family history and what my ancestors are asking of me, today?

How might I inject a new dimension of Love into my world?

6-1-25 - God Makes Us Just Who We Are

God Makes Us Just Who We Are 
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
June 1, 2025

Good morning, Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  The scripture I have chosen for this morning is Psalms 139:1-18 from the New Revised Standard Version.  

 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

For several months now, we have been talking in Ministry & Counsel about how important it is for the people of First Friends to have a safe place to embrace, celebrate, and affirm their gender and sexual identity, especially in our current world. Today, June 1st marks the beginning of Pride Month.

As well, on June 14, Pride Weekend will kick off here in Indy with the Pride Parade, Celebration on the Circle, and many other festivities which we at First Friends are planning to meet up and attend together.

We are so blessed to have many in our midst who identify as part of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and plus (which include Pansexual and Two-Spirit) Community and find First Friends welcoming and their spiritual home. 

Thanks to two different sessions with our Friend Abby White just over a year ago now, we explored in detail what all those descriptors mean (If you missed one of those sessions, you can download and watch it on our YouTube Channel – the video is appropriately titled “LGBT(FA)Q”). We will probably be offering one of these extremely important and educational sessions again very soon. As well, I am on a committee exploring Mental Health within Western Yearly Meeting that will also be addressing some of this in the coming year.

I know many of us are parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and relatives trying hard to create welcoming opportunities for those we know and love deeply in the LGBTQIA+ community. Many of you have shared with me at new attender dinners, First Friends’ programs, over a cup of coffee, or even after worship in the fellowship hall, how grateful you are that we are trying hard to be a safe, welcoming and affirming place for ALL people.   

This morning, I want to return to some thoughts on this topic from a few years ago, because we need a foundation for why as Quakers, we believe it crucially important to acknowledge ALL people, and to also find it rooted deep in our faith. 

I ask that as I share this message you keep your heart and mind open and understand that this is an evolving subject that we must cover with a lot of humility and grace.

To focus our attention today, I am going to take a slightly different approach, not a political, social, or even activist approach – but rather as a pastor, I am going to take what comes naturally – a biblical approach (or maybe I should say a “God or theological approach”). Either way, I think the approach will include some fresh, new insights for us to ponder.

I so appreciate the teachings of Rev. Whitney Bruno of the United Church of Canada who has been extremely helpful for me in putting this often-challenging subject into a more workable context.

As I have studied his words, they often seem almost poetic and prophetic in nature. Rev. Bruno takes his readers back to the Genesis story of creation to ground and emphasize something we often have a hard time grasping – that being the non-binary nature of the Divine.

Not only did his teachings open my eyes to things I had never noticed, but they also gave me a new appreciation for the great diversity that God embraces and uses to create in our world.

So, with a little help from Rev. Bruno, this morning let’s go back to the creation narrative, where we read of God creating the heavens and the earth – as in ALL that is above, and ALL that is below. ALL things.

The scriptures say that in the very beginning the Spirit of God, the wind of God, danced over the waters and God spoke – God sang – God created with a word – word and deed being one – and there was light.

God judged this new creation.

God declared it good.

Not perfect.

Not unchangeable.

Not immutable. But GOOD.

And God created more.

Now from light and darkness.

Now naming these things.

Now time itself.

You and I have heard this beautiful, wonderful, story. We know how plants and animals, waters and mountains, birds and fish are called into being by God.

But it makes one wonder, when did God make dawn and dusk?

Have you ever thought about that?

It’s not specifically named, but we assume dawn and dusk are there, on that first day of creation, since light and dark, day and night, are made.

What I find interesting is that by naming opposites, a storyteller can say they include everything.

Rev. Bruno points out that, we know when Amazon offers everything A to Z, it means they also offer items beginning with BCD and WXY and all the other items that begin with the other letters in between.

When God declares “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End” We know that means God is also in the in-between times. The now times. The present.

When scripture says God made day and night, we know that means God also made the hours between day and night.

Do you see where Rev. Bruno is leading us with this thought process?

When God made humans male and female… doesn’t that mean God also made all humans who are the shades between male and female?

We in our American culture currently are being forced into two neat categories of seemingly “Macho Men” and “Dainty Ladies.”  But like with many other things, we can’t put everyone in just two categories. (I and probably many of us in this room used to believe this.)  

I remember going to a church youth gathering when I was in grade school and they had a rap group at this event whose most popular song was “It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” I don’t even need bust out the lyrics, because today they make me sick at how damaging they were to young people struggling with their identity. And that is not to say anything about the cultural inappropriateness of the two white guys trying to act black.  

Yet, there are all kinds of people or as Rev. Bruno states – all different shades between male and female.  

I wish I would have been able to wrap my mind around this thinking in high school when often classmates that were “different shades” were bullied so much that they left my school, considered suicide, or lived each day in fear (and folks, that all happened in a “Christian” school.) 

Or before coming to First Friends, I served in the Pacific Northwest and our Yearly Meeting, struggled to wrap their mind around this thinking, ultimately dividing and hurting hundreds of people, families, and especially our youth – including our own children who not only resembled but embraced these different shades.

I am going to make a logical, but also important claim.

I believe opposites are named to affirm a God that includes and makes ALL.

Let me repeat that.

I believe opposites are named to affirm a God that includes and makes ALL.

And to us, human creatures, is gifted the “image of God” or as we say among Friends, “that of God in all people.” This is not just an image, but a form. The form of God.

What is this form of the Divine in all people? Rev. Bruno says it is CREATIVITY.

You and I are being called to take part in creating the wealth of plants and animals and life.

We are gardeners. From Eden to all the earth.

We are stewards. Being wise, just, gentle, and faithful stewards of the many lives we are entrusted to by God. As Quakers we understand this as part of our testimony of stewardship. 

What is the image or that of God within us? It is power…SHARED.

Creativity to make good and very good things.

It is relationships and that means it is also LOVE.

When God sees all of this… the opposites and all the in-between, the diversity on land, in the air, and in the ocean, and in the ground, and even in space… God over and over declares it VERY good in the scriptures.

This means that if we look really close in Genesis, we hear of a God who won’t settle for just TWO – who won’t settle for binaries. (Actually, I sense binaries are two small for the Divine.)

Instead, we hear of a God who wants every hue of color between dark and light; every creature between germ and killer whale; every human diversity between and including male and female.

Rev. Bruno then turns to the quintessential aspect of this passage from chapter 2 – that being Adam and Eve.

The story is told over and over, and this time, God makes “adamah” – the Jewish word for dust, soil, dirt.

This living dirt is lonely, and needs a co-worker. Much like God wanted a co-creator.

But the living dirt turns down every other living thing God makes and brings before it.

Finally, God separates the living dirt into two living dirts – and now, with something in its own image, the living dirt is happy.

Hawwa in Hebrew, Eve in English means breath and Adam means dirt, and combined breath and dirt make life.

This is a way of explaining how we live. We are dirt and breath combined. Breath or Spirit and the dust of the cosmos that is who we are.

·      Nowhere is this a story saying who can, or cannot, get married.

·      Nowhere is this a ranking of love from pure to impure.

·      Nowhere is this a statement that ONLY men who romantically love women, and women who ONLY romantically love men are correct.

No, this is actually a story about where we come from – God, the Divine.

Who we look like — all of us — God, the Divine.  

Just take a moment and look around you this morning.  The people in this room or even in your family - ALL OF THEM (not just the ones you like or get along with) are God, or the Divine in your midst.  There is that of God in them – the actual form and image of God is sitting before you.  Rev. Bruno says,

“This is a story that we are made with intrinsic value. That we each matter. That we are worth love. Worth a good life. Worth belonging to community. Worth loving relationships. Worth shelter, food, water, health care, education, and security. We are worthy of being part of this very good creation.”

This is a story about the common lot of being human. The common thread, common condition, of finding ourselves in the surprising state of being alive as us. As humans.

Why are we here? What are we supposed to do?

To create.

To live together.

To be good stewards.

To make safe and welcoming communities.

Or we can simplify this and say as Friends we are to live out our testimonies or S.P.I.C.E.S. 

Live simply.

Live peacefully.

Live with integrity.

Live within community.

Live equally with ALL.

Live responsibly as good stewards together.  

So again, this is a story about how we are made…” which the Psalmist in our text for this morning sums up even better, he says, we are

“…fearfully and wonderfully made. Knitted in our mother’s wombs, woven out of that living dirt from the depths of the earth”

Those same molecules and atoms and star dust God has been breathing life into for trillions of years — and seen by God before even fully formed.

We are made with the Divine hemming us in – being around us on all sides. Above and below. Behind and before. And all those other areas between the opposites.

Genesis is a story of how our God, who transcends gender and sexuality and IS all genders and sexualities, makes us just who we are.

Straight.

Bisexual.

Homosexual.

Asexual.

And more.

Intersexed.

Female.

Male.

Transgender.

And more.

Gay.

Lesbian.

Feminine.

Masculine.

And more.

Hemmed around on all sides, we are surrounded by the Divine who calls us, as we are wonderfully made, part of this very good earth.

Such knowledge is too wonderful not to proclaim. Our minds cannot fathom the depths of all the colors of the rainbow; nor the breadth of all the life forms on earth; nor the depth of the stars and distant galaxies.

We simply must say… how wonderful.

So today and throughout this month, as we ponder all that God has created, the many varieties of people, plants and animals surrounding us, let us not look with binary eyes, but rather with the beautifully diverse, multifaceted, and creative eyes of the God within each of us. 

And just maybe we will see, acknowledge, and affirm ALL the Friends of God around us.

As we enter waiting worship, take a moment to ponder the following queries:

·      In what way am I too binary in my view of others?

·      How might I more deeply see with the diverse, multifaceted, and creative eyes of God?

·      How will I affirm and welcome someone different than me this Pride month?

5-25-25 - The Challenge and Responsibility of Peace

The Challenge and Responsibility of Peace
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
May 25, 2025

Good morning, Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. This morning the scripture I have chosen is from Ephesians 4:3 from the Voice Translation.  

Make every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit has already created, with peace binding you together.

This is Memorial Day weekend. For many that means the official start of summer. As a Quaker, I am kind of glad I live in Indiana on Memorial Day weekend, where instead of focusing solely on memorializing war efforts, the entire month of May culminates in a car race of epic proportions with traditions for families and friends at its core.  And I know some of us are hoping I keep this short so we can catch the race after worship since it is being aired on TV this year.

But this does not mean that here in Indiana we don’t celebrate the real meaning of Memorial Day by honoring the sacrifices made by many in American wars.  Let’s not be too quick to forget that our great city of Indianapolis holds the distinction of having the most war memorials in the United States, excluding Washington, D.C.  Honestly, I think there is something weird about that. But that is just my opinion.

As we discussed recently in Ministry and Counsel, Memorial Day can be complicated for many Quakers because of our peace testimony (actually, the Peace Testimony itself can be a bit complicated for some).  Even though most Friends don’t usually have too many issues honoring the sacrifices made by individuals (because that may be seen as rude or disrespectful), they often cannot in good conscience support the goal for which those lives were given. That is why many Friends boldly profess, “War is not the answer.”  I find that often my fellow Quaker pastors (even myself at times), simply avoid the Memorial Day holiday, and refuse to bring up the tensions involved.

If you do a quick Google search, you will find that Memorial Day was first observed on April 25, 1866, when two women in Columbus, Mississippi, placed flowers on both Confederate and Union graves. This story about women recognizing lives sacrificed on each side of the Civil War by visiting gravesites with flowers became the impetus for Decoration Day and then our modern Memorial Day.  

The ambivalence felt by many Friends comes from our Peace Testimony and belonging to the “historic peace churches.” Along with Mennonites and Brethren, we all teach non-violence, not just in reference to war but as a comprehensive lifestyle.

As most of you know, peace is one of our testimonies or S.P.I.C.E.S.  And that testimony goes all the way back to our origins with George Fox who, along with other Friends, wrote to Charles II of England in 1660,  

We utterly deny all outward wars and strife and 
fighting with outward weapons for any end or under any pretence whatsoever;
this is our testimony to the whole world.

As well, Friends are famous for having been conscientious objectors in many of the wars and advocates and educators for peaceful solutions to human conflicts. 

I am pleased to report that we are currently seeing a resurgence among young people to consider and even study conscientious objection and question the United States’ involvement in any wars.  Which honestly could now get them jailed or deported depending on what they stand for or against.

We at First Friends and Western Yearly Meeting are gathering materials for our young people asking for more information about conscientious objection. We already have a couple books on the subject in our First Friends library to help with discernment. 

A moment in Memorial Day history that many among the historic peace churches find solidarity with is Harry S. Truman’s Memorial Day Declaration after World War II. In his Memorial Day letter he tried to change the focus of the day to a day focused on Permanent Peace. He said,

…the Congress has fittingly provided, in a joint resolution which I approved on May 11, 1950, that Memorial Day, which has long been set aside for paying tribute to those who lost their lives in war, shall henceforth be dedicated also as a day for Nation-wide prayer for permanent peace.

Let’s be honest, praying for permanent peace is only a starting place.

If our prayer is for permanent peace, that may seem a little ambitious because there are so many factors that override our desire for permanent peace. We might feel a little better for having tried to “do something” by praying, but otherwise not much may happen if we do not act.

That is why Friends believe prayer to be both listening to the Spirit, seeking the Spirit’s guidance, and then acting on what the Spirit puts on our hearts.

As Friends, we teach that peace begins within us, what we call internal peace (a seed ready to grow), the Spirit then guides us in a way to grow and develop that peace further in family and community. It’s not necessarily granted immediately, but hopefully we will get the opportunity to see its fruition, if we are willing to act upon it.

Also, for many, saying we are praying for peace is simply a way of getting around not acting. It is almost like we are asking God to have someone else speak or stand up for peace. Folks, I want to emphasize this again - prayer is more about listening and acting on what we hear than it is about asking the Divine for something.  That is why we as Friends embrace “Holy Listening” and then we seek to respond “as the way opens.” 

One of the things that the historic peace churches have emphasized around this important subject is not solely focusing on or memorializing those who sacrificed their lives through war and violent means but also acknowledging and honoring the non-violent people who sought peaceful resolutions and outcomes without engaging in war or utilizing violence or weapons. 

There have been many people (including many Friends) who have worked and fought a different kind of battle in this country to enable us - Americans, immigrants, Quakers – to live lives free of slavery, free of political imprisonment, more free of assault and discrimination for being female, or gay, or black, or immigrant, or anything else – more able to claim an equal voice and a place at the table – to live our lives as the Divine intended.  

These are people who listened to the Spirit and acted on what they heard the Spirit guiding them to do. Perhaps on Memorial Day we could also celebrate their lives and their difficult battles where peace and positive outcomes can be made without violence, weapons, and war.  Just maybe that is how we as Friends could contribute to the celebration of Memorial Day in a more Quaker way.

So, this morning, to contribute to our Memorial Day celebration, I would like to take a moment to remember the life of Friend Emily Green Balch, who I believe exemplifies just this kind of remembrance.  

Emily Greene Balch made her mark on many areas, one of the greatest was the struggle for permanent peace.

Emily was the only American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1946. She became involved in the peace movement in 1914 just as World War I was brewing. In addition, she was a central leader in the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom.

Emily was born in 1861 to a prominent family in Boston. Her father was a secretary for the famous Senator Charles Sumner. She graduated from Bryn Mawr College in 1889 and later was a graduate student in Paris where she did academic work on the poor in Paris.  Emily did settlement work in her hometown of Boston before deciding on an academic career. She studied at Harvard, the University of Chicago, and the University of Berlin. She started teaching at Wellesley College where she focused on economics, consumption, and the economic role of women.

In 1913, she was appointed to serve as an economics professor at Wellesley. Later that year, she was promoted associate professor in the political economy and political and social science department. She served on several state commissions and was a leader in the Women’s Trade Union League.

Emily was a longtime pacifist and was a participant in Henry Ford’s International Committee on Mediation – a notable peace initiative undertaken in 1915 during World War I. When the United States entered World War I, she became a political activist opposing conscription and supporting the civil liberties of conscientious objectors.

She collaborated with Jane Adams in the Women’s Peace party and numerous other groups. Wellesley College terminated her contract in 1919. She then served as an editor of the magazine The Nation, a well-known magazine of political commentary.

Emily converted from Unitarianism and became a Quaker in 1921. She stated,

“Religion seems to me one of the most interesting things in life, one of the most puzzling, richest and thrilling fields of human thought and speculation… religious experience and thought need also a light a day and sunshine and a companionable sharing with others of which it seems to me there is generally too little… The Quaker worship at its best seems to me to give opportunities for this sort of sharing without profanation.”

Her major achievements were just beginning, as she became an American leader of the international peace movement. In 1919, Emily played a central role in the International Congress of Women. It changed its name to the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom and was based in Geneva.

She was hired by the League as its first international Secretary-Treasurer, administering the organization’s activities. She helped set up summer schools on peace education and created new branches in over 50 countries. She cooperated with the newly established League of Nations regarding drug control, aviation, refugees, and disarmament. In World War II, she favored Allied victory and did not criticize the war effort, but she did support the rights of conscientious objectors.   Emily was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in the Women’s International League of Peace and Freedom.

I highly recommend you go and read about Emily’s work and dedication to peace without having to go to war or pick up a weapon.  Her work has had a huge impact, it changed lives, and it brought us more life instead of death.

To conclude this overview of this exceptional Friend, I will leave you with this final quote by Emily, 

The question whether the long effort to put an end to war can succeed without another major convulsion challenges not only our minds but our sense of responsibility.

Today or tomorrow as you reflect on our country and world, and you remember and memorialize the lives that have been lost to war in the United States, also, remember the realities.

The United States Military has recorded approximately 1.19 million fatalities since 1775 – which 651,031 were in direct combat. 650,000+ people is like wiping out the entire city of Detroit, Boston, Denver, Seattle, or Memphis. 

Since 1980, 80% of military deaths have been due to accidents, illness, and the largest growing number, suicide.

And then consider how much the United States spends on Military Defense.  On the Department of Defense webpage, it boldly states that they have $2.23 Trillion in budgetary resources available to them – that is 15.2% of the overall US Federal Budget (or the number one priority).  In 2024 alone it is reported that we spent $997 billion on defense, accounting for nearly 40% of global military spending. 

I believe these facts herald a call for more warriors for peace. We need more Emily Greene Balch’s in our world. You and I may not be able to do all that she did, but as Friends we have a responsibility to work for and speak up for peace starting in our own families and then into our communities. The possibilities are infinite, and they must start somewhere.  It seems only appropriate for it to start among Friends! 

I wonder what the world would be like if we had more people who instead of picking up a weapons or turning to violence to solve an issue, first took a look  inside themselves and embraced the peace that the Divine has placed there?

 And what if they then networked with their community to promote peace in their families, workplaces, schools, and not just locally, but globally as well?

I sense if our priority was peace and our true desire, then we might begin to see the change we want to see in this world.  

As Emily Greene Balch stated, may we not only challenge our minds this Memorial Day Weekend, but also with the Divine’s help and guidance, embrace our responsibility to make a difference for the sake of all humankind.

Now, as we enter a time of waiting worship, please take a moment to center down, calm your hearts, and focus your attention on listening to the Spirit. Sit with your thoughts about war and peace and ask the Spirit to speak to your condition.

For those needing some queries to help guide your thoughts, here are several for you to consider:

1.      What do I believe about violence and war as it relates to peace?

2.      How might I water the “seed” of peace within me? Who might help me with this?

3.      What is my responsibility for making a difference in my world?

5-18-25 - The World Needs More People Like You – Servant Leaders

The World Needs More People Like You – Servant Leaders 
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Beth Henricks
May 18 2025

Philippians 2: 1-7

2 If then, there is any comfort in Christ, any consolation from love, any partnership in the Spirit, any tender affection and sympathy, 2 make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not to your own interests but to the interests of others. 5 Let the same mind be in you that was[a] in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, assuming human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a human.

We are celebrating our graduates, honoring our 2nd and 3rd graders with their own Bible and recognizing our many volunteers that work with our kids today.  Bob is teaching the last lesson of our Youth Affirmation program celebrating Quaker artists, musicians and writers which is why I am sharing a message with you. today.  So much to celebrate!

I got the best Mother’s Day card this year.  The front of the card said The World Needs More Moms Like You and inside the card it read You care about things that matter, you step up to make a difference, doing what you can, with what you’ve got, right where you are. 

 I wish I could live up to this, but it had me reflecting on the roles we play, the attitudes we have and the actions we take.  Our communities need every one of us to step into our  gifts and talents and offer them humbly and with a servant’s heart.  We need people that live into their passions, are committed and excited about their work, their cause, their life.  And we also need humility, grace and compassion to others that might not share our same passion. 

Jesus has much to teach us about offering ourselves to each other, and the world with a servant heart.  What the world might hold up as success is the opposite of what Jesus teaches us.  His life was a  wonderful example of reversing the social order of power and success, living into his calling and passions  and offering himself with humility and empathy encouraging a philosophy and a way of living that recognizes that  the last shall be first and the first shall be last in God’s kingdom.

In John 13:15, Jesus sets an example for us to follow. After washing His disciples’ feet — an act of love, humility, and service — He encourages us to follow His lead and serve one another.

He says, “I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.”  This story of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet is a hard one for me.  I know that many faith communities have a foot washing ceremony during holy week.  I told someone recently that I could never do this as I don’t want to touch another foot.  She shared that the point of doing this is making one feel uncomfortable  with this physical act of humility and the honor that is bestowed on the receiver.  It is powerful to watch Pope Francis and Pope Leo wash the feet of strangers pouring themselves out physically for others.

This story of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet is representative of Jesus’ entire ministry. Jesus never placed himself in a position above others. He led by serving, and He loved by serving. He washed feet. He fed thousands. He walked to heal the sick. He spent time with those no one else cared to spend time with.

As we read in Philippians 2 today, Jesus speaks to us requiring our humility,  releasing our empty conceit or self-ambition.  We must not look to our own interests but the interests of others.  And we must empty ourselves and become a slave or servant to others.  The language of slave is problematic as we know the scourge of slavery that has played out in our country and many other countries.  How could Jesus call us to be a slave?  I believe there is a key difference in the word slave and servant.   A slave is a servant but provides services involuntarily.  A servant is not a slave as their services are voluntary. 

A dictionary definition for servant includes the following:

1.One who is hired to perform regular household or other duties and receives compensation. As op

2.One who serves another, providing help in some manner.

3. A person who dedicates themselves to God.

I believe Jesus is calling us to be servants unto God and each other.  It involves humility and sacrifice.  Serving others is more than keeping up with your to-do list. To be a servant means we genuinely need to care about people. It’s keeping our eyes, hearts, and schedules open for divine appointments. Jesus was not hurried, stressed by time, worried about what others thought of Him, or overwhelmed by a list of tasks to accomplish each day. Instead, He was led by the Spirit of God and followed His promptings to serve, love, and help others. No task was ever beneath Jesus, and no person was ever unworthy.  When we serve others, we grow in our service and our impacted and changed for the better.  Service  draws us closer to God.

When I think of a modern-day servant that spent his career and life in humility, kindness, grace and care for others it’s Fred Rogers.  Mr. Rogers was a beloved figure for decades and his influence has been significant even years after his death.  Mr. Rogers was a gentle, caring, knowledgeable voice, to and for children, in a world of turmoil and confusion. He gave the gift of his heart, unabashedly and unashamedly to kids and we responded.  Our appreciation for him only continues to increase.  And yet he never did this for any reason other than to provide a safe space for children to express fears and concerns as well as expressions of joy and fun. 

I also recognize this sense of humility, kindness and care for our children through the many volunteers we recognize today that provide children’s message,s and worship for our kids and youth.  The work of these folks is full of passion and enthusiasm for building relationships with our children and youth and offering insights, stories and programming to share the love of God.  Thank you to all for being ministers to our kids.

In thinking about meaningful work and giving to others and to the betterment of  our communities, I think about an interview with Dutch historian and best-selling author Rutger Bregman, that was talking about his latest book, Moral Ambition which is a call to action of people especially those with education and status of the need to devote their talent and resources to careers and causes that make the world a better place.  He and his associates have actually started a School for Moral Ambition encouraging and paying people to leave corporate jobs and transition into careers of positive impact.

As we honor our graduates, today, we honor their accomplishments and encourage them to live into those future opportunities that give them life, excite them and look for pathways to meaningful work and causes that motivate them.  Be the best teacher you can be – be the best medical professional you can be – be the best care provider you can be, the best lawyer, the best electrician, the best retail worker….  The list is endless.

Many years ago, when I started seminary, I read and studied everything I could find about Robert Greenleaf.  Greenleaf coined the phrase servant leadership in an essay he published in 1970.    He said that servant leadership is a non-traditional leadership philosophy embedded in a set of behaviors and practices that place primary emphasis on the well-being of those being served. 

Greenleaf was born in 1905 in Terre Haute and attended Rose Hulman for a few years and graduated as a math major.  He got a job with AT&T, back then one of the largest institutions in the world.  Greenleaf was inspired by one of his professors that said large institutions were not doing a good job of serving individuals or the society at large. Greenleaf quickly rose in the AT&T organization, participating in its first management training program and traveled extensively to troubleshoot the more than 200 “Ma  Bells” and observed that thriving organizations existed for the person as much as the person exists for the organization which was not a popular idea at the time.  Greenleaf spent 38 years at AT&T as Director of Management Development.  He lived out his philosophy within the organization and promoted females and African Americans to non-menial positions, bringing in famous theologians and psychologists to speak about the wider implications on corporate decisions. 

The event that crystallized Greenleaf’s thinking came in the 1960’s when he read Herman Hesse’s short novel Journey to the East – an account of a mythical journey by a group of people on a spiritual quest.  Greenleaf concluded that the central meaning of it was that a great leader is first experienced as a servant to others and this simple fact is central to his or her greatness.  True leadership emerges from those whose primary motivation is a deep desire to help others. 

While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid, servant leadership is different.  The servant leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

Greenleaf continues in his writing  - “the difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served.  The best test, and difficult to administer is:  Do those served grow as persons?  Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants?  And what is the effect on the least privileged in society?  Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived? 

“This is my thesis:  caring for persons, the more able and the less able while serving each other, is the rock upon which a good society is built.  Whereas, until recently, caring was largely person to person, now most of it is mediated through institutions – often large, complex, powerful, impersonal; not always competent; sometimes corrupt .  If a better society is to be built, one that is more just and loving, one that provides greater creative opportunity for its people, then the most open source is to raise both the capacity to serve and the very performance as servant of existing major institutions by new regenerative forces operating within them.”

Servant -leadership is not a quick fix approach.  Nor is it something that can be quickly installed within an institution.  At its core, servant leadership is a long-term transformation approach to life and work – in essence, a way of being – that has the potential for creating positive change throughout our society.

Greenleaf and his wife became Quakers in their thirties and the Quaker way greatly influenced his philosophy where  he became a best-selling author after retirement.   He was a member at Monadmock New Hampshire Monthly Meeting and Kendal PA Meeting.  Greenleaf knew that he was not a perfect servant leader, but it was his ideal and the arc of his life bent in that direction.

As Greenleaf experienced, Quaker leadership was founded on servant leadership.  A minister ordained is no more a minister than any other member/attender.  Ministry is being a servant, and we believe in the servanthood of all.  This is why I believe Quakerism speaks strongly today to many that embrace this idea and why I’m thankful to have found the Quakers. 

I close this message with Matthew 20:26-27

26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister.

27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:

·      I offer the following queries during our waiting worship time.

·      Am I living into my gifts and skills with passion?

·      Am I serving others before myself?

·      Am I focused on the growth and well-being of others?

5-11-25 - I Need My Mommy!

I Need My Mommy! 
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
May 11 2025

Good morning, Friends, and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers or mother figures joining us this morning. The scripture I have chosen for this today is from Isaiah 66:12-13 from the New Revised Standard Version.

For thus says the Lord:
I will extend prosperity to her like a river
    and the wealth of the nations like an overflowing stream,
and you shall nurse and be carried on her arm
    and bounced on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child,
    so I will comfort you;
    you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

As younger parents, Sue and I and our three boys lived just off the campus of Huntington University. In the warmer months, the boys and I would almost daily throw the baseball around after school in our side yard. We usually threw the ball around until dinner and often my college students would join us.

On occasion our time would be cut short by one of the boys getting hurt – tripping in a hole in the yard, a brother running into another brother, missing a ball and getting hit by it, running into a tree, but often it was simply being exhausted from the day, a bit hangry, and needing to take a shower and head to bed.   

I will never forget this one time; we were out throwing the ball around when our youngest got frustrated because his brother kept catching the ball and not letting him catch it.  Soon, he threw his glove on the ground and ran straight at me with his arms out. He was grumbling something under his breath, but as he got closer, I heard it loud and clear.

“I want my mommy!”

He had enough of his brothers, he had enough of me not throwing balls his way, and he just wanted someone to focus on him. And he ran right past me and into the house. Often, I would come in for dinner and find him in his mother’s arms sound asleep. Some days, I wish we could have some of those moments back.   

Lately, I have thought a great deal about the role of mothers in our current age. I believe there is an extra stress on those who seek to nurture and care for children, elderly parents, spouses, and loved ones. And I am not talking just about biological mothers, but also people who are mother-like in their nature.   

Jesus often showed these motherly qualities as he taught and interacted with people. One of his most well know “mother-like moments” was when Jesus weeps over Jerusalem and wishes that he could gather the people like a hen gathers her chicks. 

I don’t know about you, but I need that image of God more than ever right now.  I think there are a lot of us running with our arms wide open saying “I want my mommy!” I believe we need a nurturing Mother God to wrap her comforting arms around us, draw us in, give us some attention, and remind us that all is going to be well.

As I prepared for this week’s sermon, I was glad that as Quakers we are not afraid to imagine or characterize God with female qualities and descriptors, as well as the typical male ones.

As Quakers, our understanding of God is shaped by personal experiences, and different people use a variety of descriptors to help them find meaningful ways to connect to the Divine. 

Even when we talk of that Inner-Light we do not ascribe it a gender, actually most of our gender descriptors come from the Bible. 

The patriarchal world of the Bible often limits us only to male descriptors of God. Yet we cannot miss the personification of God as Wisdom in a few places in the Old Testament which utilizes female descriptors and imagery.

Take for example Proverbs 1 – I love Eugene Peterson’s translation of the personification of wisdom – which he labels “Lady Wisdom.”  Giving us yet another female interpretation of God.

Lady Wisdom goes out in the street and shouts.
    At the town center she makes her speech.
In the middle of the traffic she takes her stand.
    At the busiest corner she calls out:

I think we need and starting to see this image of God in our world, today. 

More significantly the Apocrypha (the books of the Bible that were not considered cannon, but were accepted as historical) often utilize the female descriptors for the wisdom of God (most likely a reason they were left out by the conclave of men deciding which books would be included or dismissed.)  

Sadly, for most of our history (and still for many faith communities today), a female version of God seems threatening, demeaning or even heretical.

Let’s be honest, I sense in most eras this was misogyny alive and well, as it sadly still is today.       

Just listen to how one of the Apocryphal books - the Wisdom of Solomon personifies the Wisdom of God. 

There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy…loving the good…humane…steadfast, sure, free from anxiety, all-powerful, overseeing all, and penetrating through all spirits that are intelligent, pure, and altogether subtle. …For she is a breath of the power of God…in every generation she passes into holy souls and makes them friends of God, and prophets; for God loves nothing so much as the person who lives with Wisdom. (7:22b-30)

As Quakers who call themselves, Friends, that one line should stand out and be quoted often –

“She passes into holy souls and makes them friends of God.”

That, to me, is beautiful.

Pastor Chris Glazer says the following about this passage from the Wisdom of Solomon,

“If you saw all these qualities in a personal ad or on a resume, you just might want to meet this person! I say “might” because this is a list so awesome many of us would feel intimidated. This is a description of Sophia, Greek for Wisdom, and in Jewish wisdom literature, you could say she was the feminine side of God, the counterpart to God the Father. This scripture was written by a Jewish mystic deeply influenced by Greek philosophy who lived around the time of Jesus…

In another text it is said that Sophia was with God from the beginning—without Wisdom nothing was created that was created. If this sounds familiar, the mystical Gospel of John takes as its prologue a similar assertion, that the Word, or Jesus, was with God from the beginning, and without Jesus, nothing was made that was made.”

I think in our current shift to move back to a more male dominated society; we need more than ever to identify with this feminine side of God. Those qualities and descriptors are desperately lacking in our world and especially our leadership in this present moment.

Maybe it would do us good to find comfort in scriptures that emphasize these aspects of God, such as our scripture for today,  

Isaiah 66:13, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you,” 

Or as I said earlier, Jesus lamenting over Jerusalem in Matthew 23:37 –

“How often have I desired to gather your children together as a mother hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing”

Or as the Psalmist in Psalm 131:2 gives us that comforting goal of resting in God:

“I hold myself in quiet and silence,

            like a little child in its mother’s arms,

            like a little child, so I keep myself.”

Just maybe, during these unsettling times, embracing a Mother-God-understanding would help us sense more accurately how God wants to interact in our life during this time.

It reminds me of back in my doctoral work when I studied the people known as the Dessert Mothers and Fathers.  As their world became chaotic and difficult, they chose to head out into the wildernesses of the Middle East to pray.

An interesting part of their theology was that they did not believe Jesus came to save only Christians—rather, they believed that Jesus could save the whole world from its excesses, its materialism, prejudices, hatred, self-absorption, violence, and cruelty.

In many ways, I consider the Dessert Mothers and Fathers the first real Quakers. Like us they believed that God speaks to everyone, but that in order to hear God’s voice, one must learn to be still and actively listen for it.

Their focus was on the interior life that later, Quaker founder, George Fox would label our Inner Light.

Along with their inward journey, just like us Quakers, there was also an outward expression as well. The Mothers and Fathers labored to create self-sustaining communities that could welcome and feed the stranger, the refugee, the pilgrim, and those escaping mistreatment and injustice, including women.

Mary C. Earl in her book specifically on the Dessert Mothers, or “Ammas” as they were known, shared this about what they taught her, she said…

“…the ammas have taught me to set aside time for quiet. There are so many pressures that lead us to be fragmented. The tradition does not deny the pressures. The ammas tell us that God is present even in those daily struggles. I can remember that more readily if I have taken time for quiet.

She also says,

“…the ammas take me back to basics. We live in a time in which so much polarization has happened in both the national political arena, and within the church. The ammas invite us to look beyond all the divisive fussing — not to deny it, but to see it as surface reality. They invite us to gaze more deeply, especially in the most tensive of circumstances.”

And lastly, she says,

“…the ammas tell me that from the beginnings of the life of the Church, women have been initiators of new patterns and teachings, opening the way for knowing the wholeness that God offers in Christ. When I am reading the stories and sayings of the desert ammas, I am struck by their utter confidence that no matter what, this world belongs to God, is loved by God, and that each person, each creature, each aspect of the created order, is an expression (some would say a theophany, a showing) of God’s love.

Like our youngest son, maybe the cry of our heart is “I need my mommy!”

During these difficult times we need to take time to embrace and gravitate to the qualities and attributes of our Mother God, to sense her nurturing love and seek her wisdom.  Allow ourselves to be wrapped in her safe embrace and comforted by her care.  

I was taught by a Quaker once that when we center down for waiting worship, we are metaphorically placing ourselves on the lap of God, wrapped in her loving arms, waiting to hear the whisper of her Spirit in our ear.  There is a calming sense to that.  It brings us peace and safety and even hope.  

And as the Dessert Mothers and Fathers, maybe we too should take this opportunity to find time for retreat, or at least a pause in our busy schedules, to acknowledge and work on our inner lives. To begin to seek how during challenging times Mother God can help release us from our excesses, materialism, prejudices, hatred, self-absorption, violence, and cruelty.

Since Easter I have had two of these opportunities – one at our pastor’s conference and one at the last week’s Linda Lee Spiritual Retreat. Both were needed times for me to acknowledge that “I need my mommy!”  That when the world seems out of control, the thing that I CAN DO is work on myself. 

And once more, as the Ammas or Dessert Mothers remind us, during our quiet and alone times this week, we should try and make time for acknowledging the pressures, polarizations, and tensions that we are experiencing – all while remembering no matter what this world throws at us - Mother God is always with us and ready to embrace us with her loving arms!

So, as we take a moment to enter waiting worship this morning, close your eyes and image yourself on the lap of your mother God, take a moment to nuzzle in and be fully embraced by her arms, and then wait to hear what her Spirit says to you this morning. If you need something to help focus this time, I have provided a couple queries for you to ponder. 

1.    How might embracing the qualities and attributes of a “Mother God” help me in this time?

2.    What inner spiritual work do I need to do in my times of quiet this week?

3.    Who do I need to reach out to with a nurturing word of love and hope, today?

5-4-25 - Metanoia and Pistis vs. Repent and Believe

Metanoia and Pistis vs. Repent and Believe 
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
May 4, 2025

Good morning Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  This week our supportive scripture text is from Romans 12:2 from the New Revised Standard Version,  

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I spent some time this week trying to map where I have been in my spiritual journey and how I have come to the current place and understanding I have today. I think reading Elaine Pagels new book had me contemplating this deeply after Easter and on our down-time at the pastor’s retreat last week.

Most of my formative years I was inundated by a faith community that wanted me to do two things – REPENT and BELIEVE. Those two words were like bookends to my early spiritual life. Whether it was the churches, Christian schools, youth gatherings, Christian concerts, all of them helped raise me in a bubble of beliefs that told me that my personal sin and how and what I believed was of utmost importance – even a matter of life and death.     

Those two words, repent and believe, shaped my life trajectory in significant ways. They surrounded me with a specific group of friends, mentors, and teachers, all in what I thought was a safe faith community. Today, I am able to see the mandatory uniform beliefs, the gatekeeping, and how they tried to keep me from straying or entering what they called “a slippery slope.” 

I find it interesting and kind of sad that 30+ years later, most of those friendships and teachers are no longer in my life – because of my spiritual journey. I am no longer in those faith communities and greatly disagree with much of their indoctrination, Christian Nationalism, and cultish behaviors that I am now able to see.

Sure, I still wrestle with how much time I spent drinking their Kool-Aid, trusting those people, and even defending their beliefs without taking time to really think or be transformed. When I finally decided to turn and go in a different direction, my own best man warned me that I would most likely lose his friendship (which I did) over me choosing to live on a slippery slope.     

In my Easter message this year, I began by talking about the importance that Paul put on life-transformation over people simply knowing what he was preaching.  That was me. I was all about knowing the answers of my pastors and denomination but not allowing it to transform me for the betterment of myself and my world.  Some of it, I don’t think could actually do that.

It was Paul who said,

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.”

Much of organized religion today is about conforming to this world or at least to their way of understanding this world.  Questions are bad.  Questioning is worse.  Disagreeing is all out wrong.  And believing differently both remove you from the fold and possibly damn you for all eternity. 

And we wonder how people get caught up in cults.

Paul’s idea of transformation was tweaked from Jesus’ teachings, who also called on people to change. Not just a little, but dramatically – it too was a transformational change. Mark’s gospel reports that Jesus began his ministry with these words:

 Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. “The time is fulfilled,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near; repent and believe in the good news.”

Oh no! There are those two words again – repent and believe!  But there is also another set of words that Jesus uses – The Kingdom of God. 

Author, conscientious objector, and founder of Mustard Seed School of Theology, Kurt Struckmeyer, helped me understand what Jesus calls the Kingdom of God. He says,

The ‘kingdom of God’ is the term Jesus used to express his vision of a profound transformation of human beings and human institutions—social, political, economic and religious—to fully express the character and nature of God—a God of love. To accomplish this vision, Jesus worked toward the creation of a new kind of community dedicated to values of compassion, generosity, peace, and justice. He was creating a movement for change, a people engaged in a vast conspiracy of love. 

Since Jesus’ day, many have tried to articulate or further develop this idea of the “Kingdom of God.” It has been expressed by many cultures and movements. Some have called it the Beloved Community, some tikkun olam (The Hebrew concept of preparing the world), familia justicia (family justice) in Latin-X communities, and even us Quakers summarize it in our Testimonies or S.P.I.C.E.S. and in our theology of “That of God in all people.”

But before we get to those well thought out concepts and expanded understandings of the Kingdom of God.  We have to return to Jesus and look at what he called us to do – repent, and believe. 

This is where these two words, depending on how they are translated can bring hope or cause a lot of confusion, misunderstanding, frustration, even pain. 

So, let’s start with Repent.

Kurt Struckmeyer says,

To our ears, repentance usually conveys a sense of guilt and regret [as it often did for me]. It is commonly understood as a feeling of remorse, and that is precisely how the church has conventionally used the term. 

But ‘repent’ doesn’t capture the true meaning of the Greek word…used in the gospels. The noun metanoia (met-an’-oy-ah) is the more familiar term for many people, meaning a fundamental shift or

movement (meta) of the mind (noia).

It is a movement that takes us beyond the mindset of our cultural conformity—our conventional wisdom—into a new way of perceiving and thinking about the world around us.

The repentance that Jesus speaks of is a transformative movement, a fundamental change of life that is deeper, more basic, and more far-reaching than our common understanding of the word ‘repentance.’

It is not about being sorry for the past. It is about thinking differently and changing the direction of our lives for the future.

Metanoia essentially means to turn around, to change the form, to take on a whole new identity. It involves a change of orientation, direction, or character that is so pronounced and dramatic that the very form and purpose of a life is decisively altered and reshaped. It means to begin the journey of walking away from the old to the new. 

I wonder if this is why so many Christians are threatened by trans and non-binary people. They want them to repent, but, in reality, I think they may be able to teach us a lot about metanoia.

Instead of embracing the metanoia in my earlier years, I simply walked away from the old, but not to something new. Most of the time I returned to a cycle of repentance and guilt that was designed to keep me in-line and to conform – ultimately to be accepted or approved by my peers and the leaders in the church. 

It didn’t take too much time before I would long for NEW LIFE – a personal metanoia. I wanted to think differently and change the direction of my life for the future and the betterment of myself and my neighbors.  This was bigger than me.

So how did we get from metanoia to repent? 

The translation of metanoia as ‘repent’ began when the New Testament was translated from Greek into Latin sometime around 384 CE by St. Jerome.  The Vulgate translation used the phrase which meant to “Go, and do penance” (a voluntary self-punishment).

This error was compounded by the reformer Martin Luther when he translated the New Testament into vernacular German in 1522. Luther worked from a 1519 Greek text compiled by Erasmus.

Luther translated metanoia as büssen (boo′sen) in German, which means to atone, to redress, to do penance.  So, from the end of the sixteenth century on, Roman Catholics and many Protestants believed that Jesus was talking about regret, sorrow, remorse, or performing acts of contrition, instead of a radical change in thinking and living.

WOW! Talk about getting off course and having serious consequences.  I can say this has literally affected my life, the lives of many people I care for, and I believe it now even has a huge detrimental impact on our politics in the United States.   

Scholars call this an “utter mistranslation,” or as one said, “the worst translation in the New Testament.”

 To Jesus, metanoia was a change so dramatic that it implied starting over again through a metaphorical second birth. Jesus declared,

“I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born again.”

Oh no! Two more words that have had dire consequences for the church and our world, today.  I know tension arises in many of you in this room around being “born again.” 

But folks, please understand Jesus’ declaration is not to be confused with what is commonly known as “born-again Christianity.”  That is a completely different monster that has evolved greatly over time.

Kurt says,

The rebirth of metanoia is not about inviting the resurrected presence of the Christ to enter our hearts while remaining firmly rooted in cultural conformity. Jesus was certainly not discussing speaking in tongues or other charismatic gifts often associated with born-again Christians.

He was articulating an invitation to a new quality of life in the midst of the old… (Let me repeat that)

He was articulating an invitation to a new quality of life in the midst of the old…

…It is a fundamental transformation that enables us to begin the journey of a new life. It is like being reborn with a radically new perspective on the meaning of life and matters of ultimate concern.

I think this is why it is so easy for Quakers not to tie being born again to water baptism as many churches do.  Even though I was baptized as child, it has been the times when I chose to be transformed by a new journey of life that had the deepest meaning for me.  And it has not been a one-time event, but multiple times that have continued to shape, form and transform me.  This is what I consider my ongoing spiritual formation and journey. 

It is as Kurt says,

The deep-seated change of metanoia that Jesus describes happens through a process of learning and growing. It involves learning a completely new way of thinking about life, being instructed in a new way of seeing reality. It means discarding conventional wisdom and traditional common sense for an unconventional wisdom and a transformed sense of purpose. Start by turning around and going the other way, Jesus says to us. You are a captive of your culture and, although you may not be able to see it, you are headed in the wrong direction. You are living in darkness, mired in confusion.

 He then offers us this parable.

For instance, in America our cultural view of reality is one of climbing an economic ladder. As we climb, we tend to keep our eyes on the rung above, towards those who have more than we do. Because a few are incredibly wealthy, we tend to think of ourselves as poorer than we really are. When we turn around, as Jesus calls us to do, we look back down the ladder. Then we are able to see the vast majority of people who have far less than we do, and we begin to understand how incredibly wealthy we really are. It is a change of perspective, a shift of the mind, a whole new way of thinking. If embraced, one’s life becomes transformed; it becomes fundamentally altered.

Personally, I have had to move from looking at this entire process as part of my religion or faith and more as a movement or better, a way of life.  No wonder I found Quakers on my transformational journey.  That is also what we believe – we are a religious society of Friends, a movement not a religion, denomination, or even church for that matter.     

This transformation is a movement from greed to giving, from selfishness to servanthood, from social conformity to insurrection against the status quo. We do it through silence and listening to the Sprit.

Also, I believe Jesus was talking about shifting allegiances and values away from a mainstream culture of power, domination, and violence to the kingdom values of selfless love, compassion, humility, equality, generosity, forgiveness, justice, peace, service, and inclusive community.  

That sounds a lot like our Quaker testimonies and S.P.I.C.E.S.  Doesn’t it?  And let’s be honest, we are in need of metanoia in the United States much like the people of Jesus’ day.   

So, let’s briefly look at believe (in the good news) as Jesus says. Not just believe, but believe in the good news.

Kurt says,

The verb ‘believe’ is a translation of the Greek [word] which can mean ‘to believe,’ but more accurately means ‘to trust’ or ‘to have faith in.’ It is based on the noun pistis, which means faith, belief, trust, confidence, and faithfulness.

Normally, belief has the connotation of an intellectual acceptance of a proposition—a certainty that something is true, even in the absence of empirical evidence. Faith, likewise, implies great confidence in an idea.

But faith is often a visible and outward expression of what is believed to be true in one’s head. Further, faith is a trust in something to the extent that one would be willing to bet one’s life on it.

To be faithful within the context of any culture is to be seized by and devoted to whatever is believed to matter most in one’s life.

Belief is a psychological state, while faith is a way of living. We often speak of this visible expression as a faith walk or faith journey.

This is where I have come to see this important teaching of metanoia and pistis to be vital to me, to us, to our world today.  We must trust, bet our life on, and ultimately live into the good news that is transforming our lives and the lives of those around us.

The good news that Jesus proclaimed was a radical message of hope for people at the bottom of his society—the peasants and fishermen of Galilee. Jesus called on his followers to trust that the way of life he was teaching and modeling had the capability of transforming their lives and ultimately could change the world. He invited them to transform their old ways of thinking, and to shed their culture’s conventional wisdom in order to follow him.

It is clear that metanoia and pistis involve a committed change in us — a revolution in our way of thinking and perceiving, and a life dedicated to that new reality, trusting that this is the right thing to do, that this is the most important thing to do, and that this new way is worth risking everything one has, including one’s life. 

Instead of wallowing in our sins and feeling guilty for the sake of conformity, Jesus and Paul had a different plan – TO USE US TO TRANSFORM THIS WORLD.

When put this way, it makes it seem a lot more life giving, more hopeful, more about really doing something to change our world. 

We must remember that the mission of Jesus was twofold: the transformation of people into agents of love and the transformation of human societies into communities of compassion, equality, and justice. Our personal transformation was intended to be a catalyst for societal transformation.  

I wonder how different the world would be today, if the church in America actually spent its time seeking transformation and being a catalyst for societal transformation, instead of pointing fingers, demanding repentance, and trying to get people to believe a certain way?   That is what Jesus modeled for us. 

As you ponder all of this, let’s quiet our hearts and center down into waiting worship. Here are a few queries to ponder.

In what area(s) of my life, do I need to make a change of direction and become an agent of love?

What is the right thing for me to do, today?

How might my personal transformation be a catalyst for societal change?

4-27-25 - In the Proximity of Hope

In the Proximity of Hope
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Bob Henry
April 27, 2025

Good morning Friends, and welcome to Light Reflections.  This week the text I have chosen is from I Corinthians 15:1-7 and I am reading it from The Voice version.  

Let me remind you, brothers and sisters, of the good news that I preached to you when we first met. It’s the essential message that you have taken to heart, the central story you now base your life on; and through this gospel, you are liberated—unless, of course, your faith has come to nothing. For I passed down to you the crux of it all which I had also received from others, that the Anointed One, the Liberating King, died for our sins and was buried and raised from the dead on the third day. All this happened to fulfill the Scriptures; it was the perfect climax to God’s covenant story. Afterward He appeared alive to Cephas (you may know him as Simon Peter), then to the rest of the twelve.  If that were not amazing enough, on one occasion, He appeared to more than 500 believers at one time. Many of those brothers and sisters are still around to tell the story, though some have fallen asleep in Jesus.  Soon He appeared to James, His brother and the leader of the Jerusalem church, and then to all the rest of the emissaries He Himself commissioned.

There are several stories recorded in the Bible of Jesus after the resurrection event that are both interesting and have had me reflecting this week on the hope that they convey. 

Scholars often discuss the 10 different accounts that are recorded in the Bible of Jesus’ appearances.  I believe the ones that were written down were teaching lessons much bigger than just more of the story. In many ways, they are almost parable-like in nature. Each teaching their own lesson for those with ears to hear.

Now, just to remind you of these appearances and to give you a sense of the order in which scripture recorded them happening, I want to read the list.  

It is recorded that Jesus appeared to:

1.      Mary Magdalene (where she mistakes Jesus as the gardener)

2.      The other Mary, Salome, Joanna, and at least one other unnamed woman.

(On a side note, I find it fascinating and a huge statement to Jesus’ day and culture that the first 5 people to encounter Jesus recorded in scripture were woman.)  

3.      Simon Peter (one of Jesus’ inner circle)

4.      Cleopas and a companion on the road to Emmaus. (Most likely the companion was not named because it was very likely a woman as well.)

5.      The Eleven Disciples without Thomas (to discuss doubting...)

6.      The Eleven with Thomas (to discuss believing…)

7.      Seven Disciples at the Sea of Tiberias (This is the famous Breakfast on the Beach scene)

8.      Disciples and a large gathering at a mountain in Galilee. (This is the one Jesus most often reminds the disciples about – meeting on the mountain to receive the charge or next steps – this ends up being almost a month after the resurrection.  

9.      James (private meeting with Jesus’ brother about the church)

10.                                   Disciples (probably in Jerusalem before he led them out of the Mt. of Olives to give the Great Commission and his departure.)  

Ten different situations, all with very different interactions.  As well, the stories have Jesus appearing sometimes miraculously and at other times in normal situations.  We have Jesus coming through walls, disappearing, not being able to be touched, asking to be touched, and often the gatherings are accompanied by eating. But to understand the importance of all of these appearances to us today, I think we need to look a little deeper at what Jesus was addressing in the individual appearances and with whom he was addressing them. 

After a death (or any loss for that matter), most people not only go through the stages of grief, they also face the deeper need of seeking and finding hope amidst the loss and pain.  Each of the people that Jesus appears to is both in shock and grieving. As a pastor, I am familiar with the reactions of people in that first week after the loss of a close friend or loved one.  Its often a very difficult time and hard to have clarity or peace.

Over half of the recorded appearances of Jesus happen in the first 8 days after his execution. Remember, this literally happened in front of these people – talk about a difficult thing to work through. I cannot even imagine having to watch a good friend executed in front of me – especially by crucifixion.  And the bigger gatherings happened over the next few weeks up to 40 days later.  For those who have experienced loss and grief…these 40 days can be a rollercoaster of emotion. 

C.S. Lewis put it this way in his classic, “A Grief Observed.” 

In grief, nothing “stays put.” One keeps emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round.  Everything repeats.  Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I’m on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?

This was the situation for the disciples and followers of Jesus – they were in the “spin cycle” of grief and loss.  But each of them was dealing with other things as well, and I have a hunch that Jesus’ appearances may be speaking about more than we know.  I think it has to do with what I am going to call “the proximity of hope.”  

Let’s start with Mary Magdalene. She was so caught up in the loss – that she missed the proximity of hope before her eyes – just assuming he was the gardener.

Losses can do this to us – and not just loss through death.  Losing our keys or glasses can have a tremendous impact on how we see (even literally see) the world around us in that moment.  Or take the loss of a computer file or a record. 

A week ago, our son was trying get to work and could not find his keys.  He woke me up to help him look. It was a frantic look as the time grew later and later. Finally, we found out that Sue found them in the back of her car at work. Sadly the damage was done and the impact had taken its toll. A while after he grabbed the spare key and took off, he called because he had an accident. The loss had him so much that his focus was off.  

Loss often takes us away from the moment and has us missing what is actually going on. Those who go through divorce often can no longer see their former spouse in the same light – or even themselves.  Jesus appearing to Mary and her thinking he is the Gardner shows us how easy our loss and grief control how we see.

The appearance of Jesus to the other Mary, Salome, Joanna and the other unnamed woman, continues these thoughts.  Here the thing that happens when we are dealing with loss and grief is that we forget what has already been said or done.  In each of the scriptures telling of this appearance, it has the figure of light saying, “Remember how he told you…”.

Loss often has us forgetting or at least neglecting to remember all the details of our lives.  The loss of a friendship has us forgetting the good times and focusing often on only what tore us apart.  The loss of our own memory has us searching and searching for answers. Sometimes I need to take a day and look back through photos, thank you notes, and even highlights in books to remember what I have done and learned.  I think this is why at most memorials we have slide shows and photo boards.  We need to remember the bigger story of life…

It says that Jesus presented himself directly to Peter (before the others).  Sometimes loss needs direct intervention. We need someone in our life to directly interact with us.  I don’t know about you, but I have always related to Peter. 

On many occasions, Jesus had to interact with Peter – one-on-one – and often Jesus had to convey a difficult message.  When I am struggling with loss or grieving, sometimes I need someone to come to me and be direct.  Often, we need a sponsor or a mentor, to keep us on track, to invest in us, to believe in us.  I think Jesus did that with each person he encountered.  Again, this was being put in the proximity of hope.

On the road to Emmaus, Cleopas and the other disciple encounter Jesus.  Jesus actually walked with them it says. He had them remember, he engaged them directly….and then he did one more thing…he ate with them. 

When we are dealing with loss and grief, food is a huge part of the process.  Some people eat, some do not.  Some find it comforting.  But there is more to this.  Conversations and interactions happen around the table.  The table is a harbinger of the proximity of hope.  The church is good about making meals when people are experiencing loss and grief.  We are good about having meals after memorials, inviting hurting people out to eat with us to allow them to talk…I know for me having a cup of good coffee with someone opens up conversations and has us dealing with and processing our losses and grieving. Sometimes we find answers, insights, and at other times, just like Cleopas and the other disciple – our eyes are simply opened to hope!

When Jesus meets the eleven disciples without Thomas, he begins to lay a foundation for peace in their lives.  In The Message, Eugene Peterson translated the scene this way, “Don’t be upset, and don’t let all these doubting questions take over.” 

Sometimes we are so upset and doubting ourselves, others, and even our experiences that losses and grief can be intensified.  I am sure the disciples were upset, but often we become irrational when we are upset. We can easily let our anger get the best of us. Our misunderstandings about the losses in our lives can have us going down bunny trails that lead us into unhealthy thinking about ourselves and others.

At times, it would be good to find a place for silence and solitude, to calm our hearts and minds.  Loss often creates doubts that can consume our minds and we begin to say things like:   

·      “I don’t think I can do this without...”

·      “I don’t know what I am going to do.”

·      “I don’t think I can go on.”

And I am sure you can think of others that run through your minds. These are the kind of doubting questions Jesus is talking about not letting take over.

When Thomas (who gets a bad rap for all of church history) arrives in the upper room eight days later, Jesus again takes a similar approach by bringing a word of peace, but then gets more to the point about dealing with this doubt getting out of control.  He says specifically to Thomas, “…you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.” 

Boy, I can’t tell you how important that has been to me.  I have been gripped in wondering how things were going to turn out, sometimes after experiencing loss, and I have worked myself up so much that only my way of “seeing” will do. 

But my impatience and my lack of will to see from a different perspective has caused me to think I needed to see the entire picture to believe it would come out ok.  Often, I just need to believe without seeing for it to work out just fine.

When Jesus meets the disciples on the beach – a scene I absolutely love – he realizes that the disciples had gone back to their old ways (that sounds so familiar – I can relate). 

We go to our defaults when we are dealing with loss and grief because they often bring comfort or normalcy.  There they were all fishing again.  And again, they were struggling with the catch.  But what is interesting is Jesus doesn’t walk on the water or do anything really out of the ordinary, no this time he takes care of the ordinary.  He takes care of starting a fire and making breakfast. 

Sometimes we need others around us when we are dealing with loss and grief to simply keep up the normalcy and ordinary in our life.  They don’t need to do anything spectacular, because often it is simply us who needs to try throwing our nets out on the other side of the boats of our lives. 

And sometimes when we are in a funk and have gone back into our default mode, sometimes we need someone to give us a new charge on life.  Scripture points out that some of Jesus’ followers held back, not sure about risking themselves totally. Loss and grief can have us not sure, not wanting to step out, not wanting to do anything, but that is when we often need a nudge or a charge.  Jesus’ charge was to go! And it was followed up by those beautiful words, “I’ll never leave you nor forsake you.”

Actually, Jesus took several disciples aside including his brother James and did more than just charge them – he commissioned them to represent him.  He gave them a purpose and job.  James would go on to be a founder and developer of the Early Church.  James would later write in his own epistle,

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.  So, don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.”   

I got a feeling James would have rather continued in his loss and grief, embracing his default, but Jesus’ charge had him listening and feeling the call to go and truly live. 

And in the very last appearance Jesus makes before his departure, he commissions all of his followers.  He gives them all a purpose to move on and to live.  He says that it will come from within as the Spirit equips them.   And then he does what many need as they work through their loss and grief – Jesus blesses them.  He raised his hands and blessed them before leaving. 

I was moved on Monday as the news of Pope Francis’ passing hit the news. His last act as Pope was to bless the masses on Easter morning.  It was as though he was blessing them as they prepared for his departure – very similar to Jesus.

Many people gather with loved ones just before they die and receive final words and blessing from them. I often am with people at those beautiful moments and they are moving.    

Folks, I sense what Jesus did in those final appearances was give us some guidance on how to handle our losses and grief by interacting with those he loved.  Jesus became the proximity of hope to those suffering the loss and grieving his death.  And now Jesus is charging us to go and be the proximity of hope to a hurting world. 

Let’s remember the insights we have learned this morning from Jesus’ appearances:

1.      Check your sight – Ask: What do I really see?

2.      Always remember the bigger story – Ask: What have I forgotten? 

3.      Be open to needing direct intervention – Ask: Can I do it alone?

4.      Take time to eat together for the benefit of the soul – Ask: Who do I need to have coffee or lunch with this week? 

5.      Don’t let your doubts get the best of you – Ask: Can I believe without having to see? 

6.      Stop reverting to your “defaults” – Ask: What are my possibilities?

7.      Doing the ordinary is just as important as the extraordinary – Ask: What am I about in the daily?

8.      And always remember you are not alone – God will never leave you nor forsake you – but will always help you remember your proximity to hope!

Let those thoughts and queries be on our hearts and minds as we center down and enter a time of waiting worship.