My Child, Too!
Indianapolis First Friends Quaker Meeting
Pastor Bob Henry
December 14, 2025
Good Morning Friends and welcome to Light Reflections. The Christmas scripture for this morning is from Matthew 1:18-25 from the New Revised Standard Version.
Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
“Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,”
which means, “God is with us.” When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus.
Last week, we took an in-depth look at Mary and the peace she was seeking in the chaos of her life. This week, we turn our attention to Joseph. To help us get a more grounded theological view of Joseph, I have been reading the work of Leah Schade, Assistant Professor of Preaching and Worship at Lexington Theological Seminary in Kentucky. Leah helped me connect more of Jospeh to the story since there is very little within scripture that talks about him.
Let’s begin this morning by taking a look at the story of Joseph in the Gospel of Matthew and compare it to his namesake Joseph in the book of Genesis. In doing this we will see some uncanny parallels. As well, names are very important in the Bible because they give more of the story.
First, like his namesake, Joseph is the recipient of profound dreams. Angels appear to Joseph in a series of dreams, first telling him to take Mary as his wife.
Then, after Jesus is born, to flee to Egypt to escape Herod’s slaughter.
A third and final dream tells him to return to Nazareth once it is safe.
And just like Joseph of the Hebrew Scriptures, Joseph in our story goes to Egypt in order to save his people. Joseph has an important role in both of these stories and I find these connections very interesting and enlightening.
But beyond the Christmas story, we don’t hear much about Joseph’s life or his relationship with Jesus.
Actually, the last time we hear about Joseph in the Bible is when he, Mary, and 12-year-old Jesus are in Jerusalem after everyone else has set out to return home, Jesus lingers behind in the temple, instructing the scribes about the ways of God. His parents are worried sick about him when they realize he’s missing from their group.
Leah points out,
“The last image I have is of the worried and angry Joseph grabbing Jesus by the collar, probably saying something like, “I don’t care if you were in your Father’s house. I’m your father now, and you’ll do as I say!””
After that, Joseph just disappears.
We don’t see him at Jesus’ baptism. He’s not mentioned at the Sermon on the Mount. And while we see his mother at the foot of the cross, Joseph is nowhere to be found.
Scholars speculate that Joseph might have even died by the time Jesus began his ministry because he was so much older than Mary.
Or think about this, there might have been such a rift between Joseph and Jesus that the two did not have a relationship as Jesus became an adult. I pondered that a lot as I have wrestled with people’s complicated relationships with their fathers.
But more likely, the Gospel writers were so intent to show God in heaven to be his “Abba” or “Daddy” that that relationship overshadowed whatever connection there was between Jesus and his earthly father. I think that is sad, because if we would have had more of the story, we may have been given important Father and Son interactions and relational connections.
But just because the Gospel writers did not see fit to keep Joseph visible in the rest of Jesus’s story does not necessarily mean that he was not there.
Leah, says that she “sometimes wonder(s) what that relationship between Joseph and Jesus might have been like…”
I don’t know about you, but I do, too!
Certainly, Joseph would have taught Jesus the Torah, because Mary, like most women at the time, may not have been taught to read.
And Joseph certainly would have brought Jesus to the synagogue (in this patriarchal society and religious system), watching the faith of his son take root and grow.
We read in scripture, that it is believed that it was God who inspired Jesus’ ministry of miracles, teaching, and healing, but who’s to say that it was not through Joseph that God channeled this inspiration?
Perhaps it was Joseph who planted those seeds in Jesus.
Seeds of what it means to be a man of gentleness, compassion, and caring.
Seeds of what it means to stand up for what you believe in and come to the defense of the vulnerable, even if it means risking your own life.
Seeds of what it means to trust in God, no matter how dire the circumstances may appear.
Do you realize, we know that Joseph did all those things?
Just in those few, brief passages in Matthew in which we encounter him, we find that Joseph demonstrated gentleness, compassion, and caring towards Mary. Leah says,
“He stood by her, no matter what their families and neighbors might have whispered about them behind their backs. And he made sure that Mary and Jesus were safe as they made their journey to Egypt. Joseph certainly risked his own life by seeking to protect this baby boy whom Herod sought to murder. In all these things, Joseph trusted God, no matter how dire the circumstances may have appeared.”
So, who’s to say that just because the Gospel writers barely mention Joseph that he wasn’t there?
Who’s to say there wasn’t a day when, as a young man, Jesus was working alongside his father in the carpentry shop telling him of the undeniable call he felt to seek out John the Baptist in the wilderness and find his destiny beyond Nazareth?
Perhaps Joseph encouraged him to follow this call, much as he followed the call to become a husband and parent.
I think it is important to realize . . .
Jesus was not just Mary’s child (as we talked about last week). He was Joseph’s child, too. Leah pointed this out in a real and profound way, she said,
“As Joseph watched Jesus walk off in the distance to find John the Baptist, he might have said proudly, “My child, too!”
Perhaps upon his son’s return, Joseph sat in the synagogue watching Jesus reading the Torah in the synagogue and teaching with authority. “My child, too!” he might have said.
When news of his son’s miracles and the crowds that followed him throughout Galilee reached Joseph, he might have nodded with a smile, “My child, too.”
And maybe, standing at a distance at Calvary, he gazed once again upon his wife and son. Mary still hovering lovingly, but this time with anguish as her child hangs on a cross. Joseph, once again, standing awkwardly off to the side, this time his voice broken with pain. “My child, too.””
Just reading this as a father who has three grown children trying to find their way, causes tears to well up in my eyes. I can identify with this Jospeh.
Joseph also helps us rethink the role of the non-traditional parent. He shows us that there is more to being a parent than just biological heredity.
I think of so many people who care for children not of their bloodline, but who they still consider their own. And I think of those folks I’ve known who parent amidst added layers of complications.
Stepparents navigating conditions of relational complexity.
The parents who adopt a child who is a different race or ethnicity than their own.
The same-sex couple who adopts a child with special needs.
Grandparents who step in when a parent is absent or negligent.
The partner in a lesbian couple whose spouse bears their child, but she has had to fight for parenting rights.
The single woman who adopts a child from an orphanage in a far-away country.
I’ve encountered all of these people in my ministry and many right in this room.
Like Joseph, it may be easy to overlook them, erase them, or discount these non-traditional parents.
But folks, they nurture and guide these children. They are present for the crawling and walking and jumping. The messes. The growing and learning. The testing and rebelling.
As I imagine Joseph was for Jesus, they are a steadfast presence for these young ones as they find their way in the world.
“My child, too,” they say.
Joseph also experienced the pain of knowing that his child would suffer, and that all the love in his heart could not save Jesus from his destiny.
Another place I can relate. There is nothing like being a father watching their child suffer or struggle, or have a difficult time and know that they have to go through it to be healed and find their way.
Certainly, Joseph heard the words Simeon told Mary when they brought the baby for his presentation in the temple from Luke 2:34-35,
“This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed – and a sword will pierce your own soul too”
Joseph’s soul was also pierced with these words.
“My child, too.”
But I wonder if, many years later, after his son had been crucified, Joseph might have heard about the resurrection.
Perhaps went out searching, following the rumors, until he found himself standing at a distance on the mountain in Galilee, glimpsing Jesus ascending to his Father in heaven.
“My child, too.”
All the dreams come rushing back to him, the words of the angel suddenly taking on a new meaning altogether. His faith rekindled from the embers of a memory. The faith that urged him to parent this child, protect this child, teach this child, release this child, believe in this child.
This is the faith that finds its way through the pain, the disconnect, the complications, the anguish.
This is the faith that joins both Joseph and Jesus with the God who created and redeemed them.
Folks, this is our faith, too.
And it is the faith of those who become Josephs for the children in their lives, challenging our notions of traditional fatherhood, parenthood, family-hood.
May God bless the ones who, like Joseph, defy the norms, defy the odds, and defy our expectations. May God bless us with a Joseph kind of love this Holiday Season.
Now, as we enter waiting worship, take a moment to ponder Joseph’s story in your life. I have prepared a couple queries for us to consider as we center down this morning.
Like Joseph, how is God channeling me to inspire my children or neighbors?
Who are the non-traditional parents in my life that I need to see, encourage, and remember?
Do I have the faith that finds its way through the pain, the disconnect, the complications, the anguish? What could I do to grow and nurture my faith?